Do you ever come across somebody and you think, “Wow! They’re so calm, so real, so wise!”

I have many times.

And I wonder, “how did you get here? How come you are who you are?

As I’m blessed to have known some of them for a long time, I’m able to come to some conclusions.

  • They have all suffered one way or another
  • They’ve all made mistakes
  • They all had someone they truly trusted to help them process those mistakes and setbacks, either a life coach or someone who’s been there, done it and wears the proverbial T-shirt.

In other words, someone who’s been through similar experiences and are now on the other side.

We all suffer, no exceptions. But we don’t always learn from the experience. Sometimes we keep blaming the other person or the circumstances.

Some of us, meaning me, have made the same mistake again and again until I finally ‘got it’. But at least I did.

Sometimes I wish I’d gotten it sooner; that way I could have spared myself a lot of suffering but I guess we learn the lesson when we’re ready and not before.

So, if you wonder, “How come you are who you are?” ask yourself,

“What have you learned from your mistakes that made you into the person you are today?”

Then continue with your reflections and ask yourself,

“Did I learn that lesson on my own or was there someone there to help me learn it?”

In my case, I had Alan, my life coach from whom I learned how to stop blaming and take responsibility.

None of us is alone.

If you’re suffering or facing a dilemma give me a free call on 07903 795027 or email me at

Together we will figure out what you can learn from your experiences and help you heal.