Sue Plumtree

Your Personal Relationship Coach

Helping you to empower yourself
to build strong, loving relationships

Hello, I’m Sue and I have a dream.

I dream for you to have the life and relationships you yearn for. 

I dream to make a difference in your life. 

And I dream that you experience all you’re capable of being but, mostly, I dream that you learn how to create relationships that make you feel loved, heard and understood.

I want to be your champion and show you how.

My Story

HOW I WENT FROM UNHAPPY AND INSECURE TO HAPPY AND FULFILLED 

I felt insecure for as long as I can remember.  I always yearned for acceptance and love but I didn’t really believe I was likeable, attractive or lovable enough. The only way I could think of that would appeal to people was to become a people-pleaser, a strategy that backfired spectacularly.

I couldn’t understand it because I thought I was doing everything right – selflessly putting other people’s needs and wants ahead of my own, always being there for just about everybody, fixing (or trying to fix) their problems, even if they didn’t want them fixed, being unconditionally loving, helpful and supportive, and always relentlessly cheerful.

My relationships were unfulfilling.  I felt unloved, unimportant and taken for granted. I expected people to give back some of the love, help and support I lavished on them but that never happened.

At work I agreed to every demand but was too fearful to ask for help when I needed it in case they thought I was incompetent. I hid behind all kinds of masks in the belief they would make me acceptable and accepted.

Being a people-pleaser never brought me what I longed for, but since I didn’t know what else to do, I continued doing more of the same. I had no idea what people meant when they urged me not to try so hard and to just be myself.  When relationships went wrong I blamed the other person and beat myself up as well.

THE TURNING POINT

It was around the time when yet another friendship bit the dust that a man came into my life.  His name was Alan and he became my life coach.  We worked together for a long time and our work eventually gave me the strength to leave my marriage of 37 years and rebuild my life.

I gradually built the courage to shed the masks I hid behind and step by painful step I began to understand how I contributed to the breakdown of my marriage and why my friendships were unfulfilling.

I learned why I had so many challenges with my work colleagues, how to communicate authentically and how relationships really work.

Since leaving my marriage I built a successful coaching practice, developed wonderful friendships and my health has improved beyond recognition.

My latest book, ‘Open Your Heart: the 7 secrets of strong and loving relationships’ is available on Amazon and getting 5* reviews.

When I turned 70, having lived happily on my own for 10 years, I met Paul, the man who became my soulmate, my partner and now my husband.

I was intrigued by how easy my relationship with him is, why it works as well as it does and, because relationships are my passion and my life, not just my work, I have carried out a lot of research into why that should be so.

In the course of that research I  discovered what makes relationships work – not only your primary relationship but also family and friends.

This is what I learned: Our relationship with ourselves is the single most important relationship we will ever have.  This relationship not only determines the quality of all our other relationships but also determines the quality of our physical, mental and emotional health. 

My background

My background is in Human Resources.  Apart from FCIPD (Fellow of the Institute of Personnel and Development), I also hold a Diploma in Personnel Administration, a Certificate in Higher Education and a Coaching Certificate.

I worked as HR Manager at ActionAid, a Third-world charity and as Client Development Executive at the Institute of Directors.

I have delivered talks on a variety of subjects including, amongst others, what causes stress and how to manage it and how poor relationships affect not just your happiness but also your physical, mental and emotional health and wellbeing.

Where am I now?

I look back at my journey with pride not only when I see how far I have come but especially because everything I learned and experienced enables me to connect on a profound level with my clients.

I have a deep understanding of the mindset, knowledge and skills that are needed to build closeness in your intimate relationship as well as caring and supportive relationships with family and friends.

I’m passionate about enabling my clients become resilient, resourceful and confident, and discover both, what really matters to them and how to make it happen.

This is the knowledge I bring to my coaching, my workshops, my writing and my talks.

My Core Values

Integrity

Integrity – walk the talk, keep promises. Not asking a client to do something I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.

Non-judgemental

Non-judgemental – to accept my clients for who they are while in the search for a more fulfilling life and loving relationships; (or, while in the search for a life that really works for them).

Authentic

Authentic – not hide behind the wall of ‘professional coach’. Not pretend I have all the answers or that I got it all sussed out.

Accountability

To be truthful yet kind – point out mixed self-messages, ‘Gremlins’, limiting beliefs or denials in a way they can hear without becoming defensive.

Love

Love – not only the romantic kind but love of ourselves and others. This is expressed in the way we think, the way we speak (words and the tone of our voice) and how we choose to behave. It includes patience, tolerance, acceptance and compassion.

Working With Sue

My Approach

We start by exploring where you are right now and where you want to be – happy, fulfilled, resourceful and able to bounce back from disappointments and setbacks.

I will enable you become the person you want to be – with healthy levels of confidence and an understanding of what it takes to build the life and relationships you want.

Together you will gradually discover what you do that works for you and what you do that doesn’t. 

I’m going to hold up the mirror whenever you deceive yourself, send yourself mixed messages or listen to your negative inner critic.  I will alert you whenever you’re about to fall victim to your limiting beliefs, and I will lovingly challenge you and be your champion. 

I will be there for you.  I will stand by you and encourage you when you feel discouraged, and I will answer your questions but, at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to do the work.  I can’t do it for you.

How coaching with me works

Before we commit to each other, I offer you a 30-minute free, no-obligation Exploratory Session where we talk about your current challenges and what stops you from moving forward. 

We will then talk about how you want your life and your relationships to be.  We will ask each other questions and clarify how we can make our coaching relationship a huge success.

If we find we’re a match and decide to commit to a coaching relationship, we will meet every two weeks on Skype.

I will listen to you as you have never been listened to before.  I will listen to what you say as well as how you say it.  I will listen to what you don’t say and I will listen out for any mixed messages you may be sending yourself.

 

After every session I will suggest homework – tasks that will help you achieve your goals.  Most of these tasks are likely to involve reflecting on certain questions or try out a new behaviour or approach.  I will also encourage you to take baby steps so you don’t feel daunted. 

I will be by your side every step of the way, championing and supporting you.

What my clients say…

“It’s hard for me to articulate just how much you have helped me over the last few months. I was struggling with many things. You have helped me to shift my perspective on life and work, and get to know, understand and accept myself a lot more. Thank you, Sue!”  Ruth S.

“When I started working with you I was personally and business-wise at a very low ebb. I don’t know how you did it but I now have complete clarity of what I want from life and how to achieve it! I have worked with mentors and with business coaches in the past but you have been able to combine both roles. I would describe you as a Samaritan, Friend and Mentor. With your help I have been able to close the door on two very stressful and worrying years, and I have regained my momentum to get on with and enjoy life. Thanks for being in my corner.”  Roger S., Owner and Business Development Director

“Sue is an inspiration!  She gets the best out of yourself, is encouraging, never puts you down, and makes suggestions to work on to help make the changes you need to make to enhance your life.”  Jill H. 

Membership & Affiliations

Sue is a member of several professional and charity groups and is passionate about making a positive difference in people’s lives. Click the boxes to find out more.

B1G1 - Business For Good

BUY ONE GIVE ONE

From Sue Plumtree:

“Each time I hold a coaching session it provides 5 meals for children that need it!”

“As you can tell by now I’m passionate about making a positive difference in people’s lives.

But changing the lives of people one at a time hasn’t felt enough to me for a long time but I had no idea what else I could do – until I came across B1G1, an initiative that enables businesses and individuals give to causes that touch their heart and so make the world a better place.

This initiative came into being when one person (the founder) asked herself,

“What would happen if we all gave back just by doing the things we do every day?”

As a member of B1G1 individuals and businesses likeme are able to bring about positive change in communities across the world and in the daily lives of those in need through everyday business transactions.

In practice thismeans that every time you have a coaching session with me, every time you give me a testimonial, every time we connect by email in between sessions or have an emergency session in between our regular ones, a portion of this goes to making an impact somewhere in the world.

And with more than 400 projects there’s always something close to my heart – and perhaps yours.

Before I discovered B1G1 I used to urge people to do random acts of kindness.

Research has shown the power of such gestures, not just on the recipient but also on the giver.

Imagine then, what the impact is, not just on those at the receiving end of thoughtful giving but also on us, the givers.

Together we can literally transform people’s lives for the better across the world.

You might like to check it out. B1G1.

It would be great if this inspires you to make an impact too!”

Collaboration Global

Collaboration Global help businesses and individuals meet, collaborate, share, grow and work with people with a shared vision, mission and purpose.

They are committed to making an impact at every level – personal, professional and by paying it forward we all impact communities locally and globally.

 

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Don’t wait any longer. Start discovering your own path today!