At my Meetup earlier this week, we had a new member joining us. She told us she only found out about my meeting 2 hours ago and decided to come.
So here’s the thing.
She could have decided that 2 hours was too short and that she’d better wait until next month’s Meetup.
Had she decided not to come, nothing would have changed for her.
Instead, she came.
Will it transform her life? Who knows? But the chances are much higher than if she had stayed at home.
In contrast, there are people who appear determined to stay unhappy. This was highlighted when a friend came over and our conversation turned to one of her colleagues.
This colleague had been going to meditation classes for several years and, she told my friend, her life changed beyond recognition. In the beginning, her husband would go along and it seemed to make a difference to him too but then he stopped going.
There was always some reason why he couldn’t attend so, in the end, she stopped asking him.
That’s when I remembered when I was still married and started working with Alan, my life coach.
My case was slightly different. I insisted I was unhappy and wanted my life to change but then had to be dragged kicking and screaming into a space where I finally acknowledged to myself that I did deserve to be happy.
The difference was that, despite my resistances, I luckily continued working with Alan.
In my case, there I was a reason I ‘chose’ to stay unhappy.
I accidentally discovered, to my horror, that believed I was unworthy of love and happiness. But there was another reason.
I believed that this is how my life was and that there was nothing I could do to change it.
A favourite focus of my conversation when I was with a friend used to be complaining about Jim, my ex-husband, what he was like – cold, distant, reserved – and what he said and did that made me so unhappy. My friends were very sympathetic and I lapped up the attention. I knew they regarded me as “poor Sue” and, for a very long time, I wore that label as a badge of honour.
I know, I can hardly believe it either!
So how did I disentangle myself from all that mess of self-doubt, confusion, lack of self-belief, the comfort of ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’ and more?
As you can imagine, it took time but I wasn’t alone. Alan had stood by me until my decision to aim for happiness took traction.
So, if you’re ready to let go of the comfort of unhappiness and decide to go for the uncertainty of happiness then this is what you need to do:
Take the first step, take the next one, fall down, get up and take another step, fall flat on your face, get back up again, repeat.
The secret is in the getting back up again no matter how many times you fall down and not giving up.
With love and gratitude,
P.S. My latest book, ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 Secrets Of Strong And Loving Relationships’ is now on Amazon!
P.P.S. I enable women build strong and loving relationships, first with themselves and then with others. That’s because your relationship with yourself shapes all your other relationships.
If you’d like to find out how you can do that email me on firstname.lastname@example.org for a COMPLIMENTARY exploratory conversation.