The No. 1 secret that will enable you to persist when others give up

I recently had a conversation with a friend, a fellow coach.  She had been trying really hard for quite some time to make a go of her coaching practice but, as she told me, “No matter how hard I try, I’m unable to make a go of it.”  So she decided to stop.  It had got to the point where it was affecting her health.

Then she asked me what kept me going.

I too was struggling so I tried to put into words why I couldn’t give up but had trouble finding the right words.

But the question kept nagging at me.  It made me wonder, what makes some people keep going no matter what and others give up?

The answer I finally came up with is this.

I have a purpose – a big WHY – that is so laser sharp I cannot imagine myself doing anything else.

That purpose is to help people lead happier and more fulfilled lives, to develop more solid, more caring and more productive relationships.  That purpose gives meaning to my life.

And here’s the thing.

Up until now, I’ve been putting all my energies into enabling individuals with their personal relationships.

The idea of focusing on a different kind of relationship never crossed my mind at least not until I had a conversation with another friend.  He suggested he might need my experience of relationships to sort out a problem between one of his managers and her employee – and was willing to pay for it!

Soon after that, Paul, my partner, suggested it would help my business if I joined the Kingston Chamber of Commerce – which I did.

Then, to my surprise, as one thing started to lead to another – a letter, a meeting, a conversation, an article – things began to happen.

Last week I was signed up by the University of Surrey to run a workshop for them and the week before I was invited by Roehampton University to give a talk on managing relationships!

Other opportunities are opening up as we speak and my confidence just got a huge boost!

And here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to be about business.

Next week is the 5th anniversary of my u3a group (The University of the Third Age).  One of the members, Janice (not her real name) who has been with me from the very beginning, is leaving to move to Bristol to live with her daughter, her husband and their 3 young children, her grandchildren.

Janice absolutely adores them and her daughter had urged her for a long time to move in with them and help her look after the children.

At Janice’s age this is a huge decision.

We all thought moving would be a mistake.  It would mean leaving her home ground, all her friends and the practical support she built over the years to move to a place where she has no friends.

We, as a group, put forward all kinds of arguments against the wisdom of this move and, it appeared for a while that she agreed with us.

Then, about a month or so ago, she told us she had put her house up for sale and had started making arrangements for the move.

She explained it very simply.  “I adore my grandchildren.  I want to be there watching them grow up.”

That’s her purpose.  Her grandchildren are what gives her life meaning.  And, once she saw this with complete clarity, everything else fell into place.

That’s the power of purpose.

So here’s my question to you,

“What is your purpose?  What do you care about so much that it gives meaning to your life?”

I promise you, once you know that, everything else will fall into place.

With love and gratitude



P.S.  If you need a helping hand, contact me for a free Obstacle Smashing Exploratory Session.  By the end of it you will walk away with at least one idea to get you moving on your path to a happier and more fulfilled life.  Text me on 07903 795027 or email me on






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