When I first start working with a new client, more than one tends to comment that they don’t really trust their own judgement because they have made so many poor choices in the past. These comments got me thinking: What does it really means to trust? These clients have got one thing right: it IS about trusting (or not trusting) themselves. That definitely fits my own experience in the early days. I tended to hand over decisions about … [Read more...] about What is self-trust?
I’ve come across some clients who comment that they don’t really trust their own judgement because they have made so many poor choices in the past. These comments got me thinking about what it really means to trust. My first reaction is that these clients have got one thing right, namely that it’s about trusting (or not trusting) themselves. That’s certainly more than I can say about myself in the early days. I tended to hand over decisions about what was best for me to just about everybody … [Read more...] about What does it mean to trust?
I’ve always been fascinated by people who are clearly self-confident. How do you know when you meet a genuinely confident person? What do you believe they’re like when no-one is looking? I’ve come across a number of beliefs – or perhaps I should say ‘myths’ – that people hold about those they believe to be confident which used to include me: They tend to take people at face value and they, therefore, also tend to believe that confident people have got it ‘all together’, that they don’t … [Read more...] about What is self-confidence?
When things go wrong most people’s reaction is frustration and disappointment. That’s understandable. However, setbacks, disappointments and failures have a useful role to play in our personal growth and development. I had an exploratory meeting with a client once and I asked him, “what do you do when you have a setback?” He replied, “I panic.” I then followed this with “And what do you do after you finish panicking?” and he said “I continue to panic.” It turned out that he had been hugely … [Read more...] about Setbacks: catastrophes or opportunities?
I never really thought that affairs were a bit of harmless fun. Nevertheless, what drove me to embark on the two I had in my 37 year long relationship was a deep sense of loneliness. Both men had shown a keen interest in me, listened to me and thought that what I had to say was really interesting. But are affairs just a bit of harmless fun even if they satisfied some of my deepest needs? … [Read more...] about Are Affairs Just a Bit of Harmless Fun?