Here’s what to do when life happens

I’m currently working on a new programme to develop mental fitness in university students and it occurred to me that we would all benefit from some of the tools and resources I will be offering them. There are several sub-headings that come under the general term of mental fitness some of which I’ve been talking … Read more

Next time you’re facing a serious challenge, remember this

Thank you to those of you who sent me some wonderful replies to my last blog about what to do when you experience severe setbacks.

Apart from feeling comforted from reading your encouraging comments and words of support, I also noticed that the sharp edge of my hopelessness and helplessness had dissipated.

Feeling loved, heard and understood goes a long way no matter where the love, listening  and understanding comes from – our partner, our family, our friends, even strangers.

Here are other things that have helped that might help you too when faced with serious challenges and setbacks.

Read moreNext time you’re facing a serious challenge, remember this

What to do when faced with a major setback

OK, so it’s easier said than done.

I write a lot about resilience and about the importance of keeping on keeping on.

Unfortunately, it’s always easier to write about these things when everything is going well or even relatively well.

But I’ve just been struck by a major setback and I’m in a set of shock and fear.  Now what!?

This is how I’m dealing with it.

I find that the biggest thing that is helping me right now comes from Kirsten Neff’s book ‘Self Compassion’.

Read moreWhat to do when faced with a major setback

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

Last week, in Part 3, I described in detail how I made emotional experiences from potentially fleeting positive facts and the significant health and emotional benefits that this approach brings.

As obvious as these ideas may sound, there’s a huge obstacle to overcome

Resistance to change!

I bet you’re expecting me to say that you have to wrestle with it, overcome it one way or another!

If that’s what you believe then you’d be wrong.  You can’t wrestle resistance with an act of will.  Besides, resistance is necessary for change to succeed!  Let me explain.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

Why you should have a role model

I remember when I started my very first job in Human Resources.  In those days it was called Personnel Management and I was Assistant Personnel Manager.

I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to get that job.  The Personnel Manager was a man called Ron.  He looked like Santa Claus and had the kindest face.

Unfortunately, as I discovered, he was also the most racist, sexist and bigoted man I had ever met.  He was also dishonest, controlling and manipulative.  I think that about covers it.

I was green and eager to make a difference.

Read moreWhy you should have a role model

Why mistakes can be a confidence-booster

There was a time when I believed that, if only I had no more problems, challenges, disappointments and setbacks, then I would be happy.

shutterstock_220820908Of course, that was never going to happen. Problems happen, setbacks happen, I make mistakes, life happens. That’s unavoidable and part of being human.

It took me a long time to figure out that the only way to learn and grow, the only way to become wiser and more resilient is through problems, disappointments and setbacks.

But there’s a lot more to it.  It is said that a person who never failed, never tried anything so, when life happens, how do you know you can handle it? You know because

Read moreWhy mistakes can be a confidence-booster

Setbacks: catastrophes or opportunities?

When things go wrong most people’s reaction is frustration and disappointment.  That’s understandable. However, setbacks, disappointments and failures have a useful role to play in our personal growth and development.

I had an exploratory meeting with a client once and I asked him, “what do you do when you have a setback?” He replied, “I panic.” I then followed this with “And what do you do after you finish panicking?” and he said “I continue to panic.”

It turned out that he had been hugely successful when he was employed. Every project he started

Read moreSetbacks: catastrophes or opportunities?

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