The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

Last week, in Part 6, I talked the importance of being good to yourself and why, according to Rick Hanson in ‘The Buddha Brain’, this is such an important way to reprogram your brain.

In this last post of the series, I want to explore what it means to assert yourself which is another way of being good to yourself.

What does it look like when you’re asserting yourself and what role does it play in reprogramming your brain?

To truly assert yourself you need to come from a place of virtue which simply means from a place where your intention is to do no harm.

When you make ‘doing no harm’ your intention (see Part 5, intentions and perseverance), it becomes a way of relating not only to others whoever they may be – partner, children, family, friends or work colleagues but doing no harm to yourself either.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

Would you say no to experiencing peace and contentment?

Would you say no if asked if you’d like to experience peace and contentment?  Silly question?

Perhaps but that’s what you say (and do) every day.

I’m not accusing you. This is just an observation.

How do I know?

I used to be just like you, unable to sit still without doing something – with my hands or with my mind.  I’d feel guilty at the very thought!

More than that, the idea of stopping and just being with myself absolutely terrified me!

And I’m not just talking about the dim and distant past.

Read moreWould you say no to experiencing peace and contentment?

What does self-compassion mean?

I have recently come across an important and very readable book called ‘Self-Compassion: stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind’ by Kristin Neff, PhD.  For more information, click here.

As I was reading it I realised that, without realising it, I had already begun to practise self-compassion.  I saw that, over time, I had changed my inner dialogue from the harsh and impatient tone of voice I used to use when I judged, criticised and ran myself down to one that is gentler and more patient.  This made a huge difference in the way I felt about myself.

Read moreWhat does self-compassion mean?

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