How to rekindle romance no matter how long you’ve been together

On 12 September 2018 I published a blog called ‘How To Really Listen And Make People Fall In Love With You’.

It was a detailed blog about the mechanics of listening.

The ability to listen well makes such a huge difference to our relationships that I feel compelled to address it again from a slightly different angle.

What triggered this train of thought was watching Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt, his wife, being interviewed.  They are relationship gurus and have been working for decades helping couples who are struggling with their relationships.

Interestingly, they articulated what I know to be true from my own experience which is that poor communication between people leads to toxic relationships by which I mean relationships where you feel unloved, unimportant, even invisible as well as angry, frustrated and resentful.

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The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

Last week, in Part 5, I talked about two things, both of which go hand in hand:

  1. Intentions
  2. Perseverance

But there is something else which is equally important.

Reprogramming your brain also involves keeping your emotional engine topped up.

This is something I mentioned many times in the past but always in the context of nourishing yourself and keeping your emotional engine topped up to enable you to continue to give with an open heart.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

How can one be authentically authentic?

I had been coached for some time when the subject of authenticity came up.

The timing was good. As part of being coached I had begun to drop some of my many masks and was experimenting with telling people whatever felt true to me. It was really scary but I was determined to change my relationships which, in those days, felt superficial. As I was yearning for closeness, I persisted.

shutterstock_189619739I noticed that, overall, people responded well but I also noticed, eventually, that there was one person I found it very difficult to be authentic with, to tell him what was true for me. Yes, you guessed it, Jim, my ex-husband.

I remember this one occasion. I was

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What Does Confidence Really Mean?

Most people tend to believe that true confidence is something you have all the time. The other thing they often believe is that confidence is the same as having a positive self-image. A positive self-image can, however, get in the way of genuine confidence.

Self image is how we see ourselves which includes what we look like, how we see our personality, what kind of person we think we are and how much we like ourselves. Our self image is generally bound up with

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