The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

Last week, in Part 6, I talked the importance of being good to yourself and why, according to Rick Hanson in ‘The Buddha Brain’, this is such an important way to reprogram your brain.

In this last post of the series, I want to explore what it means to assert yourself which is another way of being good to yourself.

What does it look like when you’re asserting yourself and what role does it play in reprogramming your brain?

To truly assert yourself you need to come from a place of virtue which simply means from a place where your intention is to do no harm.

When you make ‘doing no harm’ your intention (see Part 5, intentions and perseverance), it becomes a way of relating not only to others whoever they may be – partner, children, family, friends or work colleagues but doing no harm to yourself either.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

Last week, in Part 5, I talked about two things, both of which go hand in hand:

  1. Intentions
  2. Perseverance

But there is something else which is equally important.

Reprogramming your brain also involves keeping your emotional engine topped up.

This is something I mentioned many times in the past but always in the context of nourishing yourself and keeping your emotional engine topped up to enable you to continue to give with an open heart.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

If you think feeling confident is something airy fairy, think again

It lately occurred to me that you might wonder why the subject of feeling confident matters so much to me that keeps me coming back to it again and again.

The only answer I can give you is what it was like for me when I didn’t feel it.

The experience of my relationship with Jim, my ex-husband, had drained me of the little self-confidence I had when we married – not that I realised it at the time.

Read moreIf you think feeling confident is something airy fairy, think again

Another failed diet? Check out your relationship!

Newsflash!

Focusing on your relationship will improve your health!

Putting on weight when you worked so hard at losing it in the first place is so frustrating!

And, when your energy levels and your self-confidence are low, the quality of your life as a whole is affected.

Read moreAnother failed diet? Check out your relationship!

What stops you from being true to yourself

shutterstock_189619739A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?”

The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might

Read moreWhat stops you from being true to yourself

The beauty of power and how to get more of it

shutterstock_220931875The idea that you can feel powerful doesn’t sit comfortably, especially if you are a woman.

It’s a word most people usually associated with men. So when I suggest to a client that she’s more powerful than she imagines, the reaction is ambivalent.

That changes when I go on to describe my definition of what it means to be powerful:

To have the ability to influence, to make things happen, to make a difference.

Read moreThe beauty of power and how to get more of it

Questions I would have liked to have been asked

I’ve recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Woman’s Hour, The Daily Mail and The Telegraph.

It is impossible, in the brief time, to cover more than the absolute minimum. But it left me wishing we’d had more time and print space to examine the things that, in my opinion, are really important: how did I get from feeling as if I were invisible in my marriage to today, where, now well into my sixties, I’m continually attracting loving and supportive relationships, and working as the Life Enhancing Coach which is deeply rewarding.

Read moreQuestions I would have liked to have been asked

Where there’s a will there’s a way

I was brought up to believe that other people’s needs and desires always came first, especially when they conflicted with mine. As a result of this, two things happened:

  1. I was often out of touch with my own needs and desires, and
  2. When I did recognise them I was either too afraid of expressing them or diluted them in such a way that they mostly went unheard.

Read moreWhere there’s a will there’s a way

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