Why expressing love in your relationship is not as easy as you might think

Jim, my ex husband, was my first real relationship and I was his. Neither one of us knew anything about expressing love.

We believed that love was just a feeling.

If being with Paul, my partner, taught me anything, it is that love is more than a feeling; it’s a verb. It’s behaviours. But not just any old behaviours.  It’s behaviours that our partner actually recognises as love.

Read moreWhy expressing love in your relationship is not as easy as you might think

Another failed diet? Check out your relationship!

Newsflash!

Focusing on your relationship will improve your health!

Putting on weight when you worked so hard at losing it in the first place is so frustrating!

And, when your energy levels and your self-confidence are low, the quality of your life as a whole is affected.

Read moreAnother failed diet? Check out your relationship!

How to become intimate: listen!

The first time I experienced being truly listened to, heard and understood was when I was doing my coaching training. We would be put in groups of three – the coach, the client and the observer, and then take it in turns so that everybody got experience with one of the roles.

hThat short experience was awesome – I had never experienced anything like it before.

Over the years I’ve noticed that few people actually listen to each other. It’s even worse when they’re in a fight. Then they both shout over each other. Nothing gets resolved and both parties end

Read moreHow to become intimate: listen!

How appreciation can transform lives

hBelieve it or not, we have the power to make a huge difference in how people feel about themselves.

In their wonderful book ‘How Full Is Your Bucket?’, Tom Rath and Don O. Clifton explain that, with each encounter, however brief, we can make people either feel good about themselves or we can leave them feeling ignored, invisible and discouraged, wondering why

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Would you like to know the secret to closer relationships?

hI get upset when I read an obituary about some well-known personality who died of some lingering illness who, that obituary says, had accepted their situation and never complained. The tone is always one of admiration.

Apparently, they keep their pain and suffering to themselves because they don’t want to burden the people they love. Sounds

Read moreWould you like to know the secret to closer relationships?

Why being strong can push love away

strong enough to ask for help

I’ve always been intrigued by people’s general beliefs around what it means to be strong.  Some interpretations include ‘stiff upper lip’, not being influenced by emotions, being

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Love and loss happens but don’t be afraid to try again

Despite the deeply personal nature of this blog I feel compelled to share my experience because I believe the message is important.

I was married for 37 years and, just over 8 years ago, I took the painful step of leaving my marriage. I did it because I finally admitted to myself that I deserved better.

Over the last 8 years I processed most of my baggage and I recently

Read moreLove and loss happens but don’t be afraid to try again

What does self-compassion mean?

I have recently come across an important and very readable book called ‘Self-Compassion: stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind’ by Kristin Neff, PhD.  For more information, click here.

As I was reading it I realised that, without realising it, I had already begun to practise self-compassion.  I saw that, over time, I had changed my inner dialogue from the harsh and impatient tone of voice I used to use when I judged, criticised and ran myself down to one that is gentler and more patient.  This made a huge difference in the way I felt about myself.

Read moreWhat does self-compassion mean?

The Power of Love and Kindness

The very mention of ‘the unseen world’ is likely to conjure up images of the supernatural or metaphysical.

My observation – if I may call it that – of the unseen world lies much closer to home. In fact, it lies within us – unseen worlds such as ‘love’, ‘truth’, ‘integrity’, ‘kindness’, ‘thoughtfulness’, are all unseen until we choose to express them. The same, of course, applies to the other, dark, unseen world such as ‘hate’, ‘fear’, ‘anger’, and so on. As humans, we have the capacity to experience and manifest both kinds of unseen worlds, the light and the dark.

Read moreThe Power of Love and Kindness

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