To celebrate my friendship with Bev

Today I feel compelled to write about my friendship with my dearest friend Bev.

The reason she’s on my mind is that today we’re meeting for lunch and spending time with her is always such a joy.

Bev and I met about 10 years ago when I was 63 or so.  The reason I mention this is because I’m always hearing people say how hard it is to make friends when you’re older but this is not at all my experience!

In fact, I met all of my friends (male and female) who have become really close since I turned 60.

Read moreTo celebrate my friendship with Bev

Do self-fulfilling prophecies work?

I’ve got a mystery for you:

Why is it that I keep meeting really wonderful people?  How come that most people I come across are kind, friendly, helpful and thoughtful?

That goes for strangers, fleeting relationships as well as friendships.

And here’s another one:

Read moreDo self-fulfilling prophecies work?

If you don’t like your life as it is, why not create a different future? Here’s how

You don’t know what you don’t know, do you?  I had no idea that my life could be any different.  This is what it looked like the last 6 or 7 years of my marriage:

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

Read moreIf you don’t like your life as it is, why not create a different future? Here’s how

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

Last week, in Part 5, I talked about two things, both of which go hand in hand:

  1. Intentions
  2. Perseverance

But there is something else which is equally important.

Reprogramming your brain also involves keeping your emotional engine topped up.

This is something I mentioned many times in the past but always in the context of nourishing yourself and keeping your emotional engine topped up to enable you to continue to give with an open heart.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage (Part 3)

Last week, in Part 2, I suggested an exercise that encouraged you to deliberately look for positive facts and then turn those factual events into experiences – making it a point to savour and enjoy every aspect of each one of them.

Today I thought I’d share with you one of my own experiences but, before I do, let me tell you what the longer term consequences are.

The experience I’ll describe in a moment has huge benefits which go beyond the actual immediate enjoyment.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage (Part 3)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

Building on my introduction – or teaser – from last week, I’d like to start by describing the kind of journey you’re embarking on – but first, a word of warning:

You’ll need to stick at it, something which is not always easy.  But, if you do, the rewards are amazing.

This is not just about rebuilding your self-confidence but about developing the inner peace that comes with letting go of the trivial stuff that overwhelm us with anxiety and guilt. 

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

Does love help prevent accidents?

On Tuesday two weeks ago, just after coming out from my dentist for my regular check-up, I tripped over a raised slab on the pavement and fell heavily on my face.

One of my front teeth was pushed down so it touched my lip.  I was unable to close my mouth, I badly hurt my wrist trying to buffer my fall, I bruised my ribs so it hurt to breathe, and I was generally bruised and sore.

As I lay there, face down, unable to move, a kind soul turned me over gently and, with the help of a second Good Samaritan, they carefully sat me against the wall.  All I could think of at that moment was my tooth, especially since I was less than 5 minutes away from my dentist’s surgery.

Read moreDoes love help prevent accidents?

Why expressing love in your relationship is not as easy as you might think

Jim, my ex husband, was my first real relationship and I was his. Neither one of us knew anything about expressing love.

We believed that love was just a feeling.

If being with Paul, my partner, taught me anything, it is that love is more than a feeling; it’s a verb. It’s behaviours. But not just any old behaviours.  It’s behaviours that our partner actually recognises as love.

Read moreWhy expressing love in your relationship is not as easy as you might think

Another failed diet? Check out your relationship!

Newsflash!

Focusing on your relationship will improve your health!

Putting on weight when you worked so hard at losing it in the first place is so frustrating!

And, when your energy levels and your self-confidence are low, the quality of your life as a whole is affected.

Read moreAnother failed diet? Check out your relationship!

How to become intimate: listen!

The first time I experienced being truly listened to, heard and understood was when I was doing my coaching training. We would be put in groups of three – the coach, the client and the observer, and then take it in turns so that everybody got experience with one of the roles.

hThat short experience was awesome – I had never experienced anything like it before.

Over the years I’ve noticed that few people actually listen to each other. It’s even worse when they’re in a fight. Then they both shout over each other. Nothing gets resolved and both parties end

Read moreHow to become intimate: listen!

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