Do self-fulfilling prophecies work?

I’ve got a mystery for you:

Why is it that I keep meeting really wonderful people?  How come that most people I come across are kind, friendly, helpful and thoughtful?

That goes for strangers, fleeting relationships as well as friendships.

And here’s another one:

Read moreDo self-fulfilling prophecies work?

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 1)

This is the first of a series of blogs about a subject that is close to my heart:

How we sabotage our confidence and what we can do about it.

Here’s an example:

I’ve always preferred being in small groups, ideally just one or two other friends.  Larger groups make me feel uncomfortable.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 1)

What if your body were your best friend?

So here I am, still in my mid-fifties and experiencing episodes of severe lower back pain and a pain in my left knee both of which are making my life anything from uncomfortable to miserable.

My GP has little comfort to offer other than to learn to live with it and take painkillers when necessary.  Sadly, they have only limited success.

As I’m telling a friend about it she makes a suggestion which strikes me as absolutely bizarre.

“Ask your pain why it’s there”, she suggests. “What is it trying to tell you?  See if you can associate it with a particular emotion.”

As you would expect, I pooh-pooh the idea and put it out of my head.

Read moreWhat if your body were your best friend?

If you’ve ever struggled with letting go, here’s why

We don’t know what we don’t know.  This statement may sound rather cryptic but is actually very profound.

It means that, when we’re unaware of something such as a limiting belief, we cannot make changes.  And, what’s worse, those limiting beliefs will drive our choices with disappointing results without us knowing why.

Over the years I’ve shared with you some of my poor choices – choosing my life partner, staying in a loveless marriage for as long as I did, never asking for help because I believed people would regard me as a burden and many more.

You’d think I’d be a lot more self-aware but here’s the thing.

Becoming self-aware is not a once-and-for-all event.  It’s like peeling an onion – there are always more layers to uncover!

Awareness can come in all sorts of ways – in my case, my latest collision between self-perception and reality came via a dear friend of mine.

Read moreIf you’ve ever struggled with letting go, here’s why

What to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed

When you’ve got a cold, the obvious thing to do is to take some cold remedy.

When you can’t sleep, the doctor might prescribe a mild sedative.

Or when you’re constantly tired then the advice is obvious:

Read moreWhat to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed

The beauty of power and how to get more of it

shutterstock_220931875The idea that you can feel powerful doesn’t sit comfortably, especially if you are a woman.

It’s a word most people usually associated with men. So when I suggest to a client that she’s more powerful than she imagines, the reaction is ambivalent.

That changes when I go on to describe my definition of what it means to be powerful:

To have the ability to influence, to make things happen, to make a difference.

Read moreThe beauty of power and how to get more of it

Prepare to be amazed when you change your beliefs from limiting to empowering

h‘Tis nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so’, William Shakespeare

We will most likely be familiar with this quote but it needs expanding: It’s not enough to think it; you also need to believe that ‘it’ – whatever ‘it’ may be – is true. That’s what, over time, leads to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Even though

Read morePrepare to be amazed when you change your beliefs from limiting to empowering

Who do you think you are?

flowers_poppy_red_flower_238895This question – “who do you think you are?” – may sound a bit vague but is nothing of the sort. It’s as practical and concrete as a brick.

Who we think we are determines

Read moreWho do you think you are?

What does the law of gravity and our comfort zone have in common?

We’re often being encouraged to expand our comfort zone – to push beyond it, to take risks. In other words ‘to feel the fear and do it anyway’.

So, to answer the question ‘what does the law of gravity have in common with our comfort zone?’, both can sometimes feel impossible to transcend even though we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it can be done – after all, birds fly and so do airliners.

Why are we compelled to stay within our comfort zone?

As for our comfort zone, as Frances Coombes, NLP Master Practitioner, put it in the December 2001 edition of ‘Salesdirector’, “… the greatest instinct of human beings is not survival but

Read moreWhat does the law of gravity and our comfort zone have in common?

Self-sabotage and other destructive behaviours

‘Sabotaging yourself’, ‘letting yourself down’, ‘betraying yourself’ – each of them are very strong expressions. The obvious question would be: “why would we do a thing like that?”.  My answer is “probably because we don’t realise we’re doing it”.  But we do experience the results even though we don’t realise we are the ones who have created it.

Common self-sabotage

So what does it look like when we sabotage

Read moreSelf-sabotage and other destructive behaviours

Grow Your Confidence and Fabulous Relationships will Follow