What gets in the way of great relationships?

The key to great relationships starts with, as I know all too well, knowing, liking and trusting yourself.

shutterstock_220749814I know that’s easy to say but how do you know when you don’t?  The evidence is obvious, once you know where to look:

You beat yourself up, you keep your feelings to yourself, you have a hard time accepting compliments, you believe yourself to be helpless, you’re afraid to ‘rock the boat’, you insist you hate conflict, you allow other people to treat you carelessly, and much more.

Over time I’ve noticed something really interesting: the more I learn

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What does self-compassion mean?

I have recently come across an important and very readable book called ‘Self-Compassion: stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind’ by Kristin Neff, PhD.  For more information, click here.

As I was reading it I realised that, without realising it, I had already begun to practise self-compassion.  I saw that, over time, I had changed my inner dialogue from the harsh and impatient tone of voice I used to use when I judged, criticised and ran myself down to one that is gentler and more patient.  This made a huge difference in the way I felt about myself.

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The Gremlin: the great debilitator

A while back I posted a number of blogs introducing the concept of the Gremlin (your inner critic) and suggested ways to manage it.

I’ve been familiar with my Gremlin for as long as I remember, even when I didn’t have name for it.  I even commented how important it was to be aware of how it works because it affects the quality of our life like nothing else can.

Probably the most important point I made was that, even when we learn to master it, we will always have to watch out because it will never be defeated.

How true that statement is was brought home to me over the

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