If you want to know the secret to staying younger longer, read on

When I was 14 years old, my Dad asked me what I wanted to do after I finished school.  I shrugged.  He said, “In that case, you will become a trilingual secretary because you’re good at languages.”  I replied, “OK, can I go out and play now?”

And that’s how I became a secretary.  I carried on as a secretary for the next 18 years.

I had many jobs along the way.  Most were OK.  What I liked best about them was the friends I made.

Fast forward 18 years and things were changing.  Not only were there social changes as well as changes in women’s expectations; there were also changes in my personal life.

My then husband, Jim, had been very unhappy in his job in Rank Xerox in Welwyn Garden City, and had applied for a very different position in their Gloucester site.

He never gave me a thought.

Read moreIf you want to know the secret to staying younger longer, read on

Do self-fulfilling prophecies work?

I’ve got a mystery for you:

Why is it that I keep meeting really wonderful people?  How come that most people I come across are kind, friendly, helpful and thoughtful?

That goes for strangers, fleeting relationships as well as friendships.

And here’s another one:

Read moreDo self-fulfilling prophecies work?

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

Last week, in Part 3, I described in detail how I made emotional experiences from potentially fleeting positive facts and the significant health and emotional benefits that this approach brings.

As obvious as these ideas may sound, there’s a huge obstacle to overcome

Resistance to change!

I bet you’re expecting me to say that you have to wrestle with it, overcome it one way or another!

If that’s what you believe then you’d be wrong.  You can’t wrestle resistance with an act of will.  Besides, resistance is necessary for change to succeed!  Let me explain.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

Why you should have a role model

I remember when I started my very first job in Human Resources.  In those days it was called Personnel Management and I was Assistant Personnel Manager.

I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to get that job.  The Personnel Manager was a man called Ron.  He looked like Santa Claus and had the kindest face.

Unfortunately, as I discovered, he was also the most racist, sexist and bigoted man I had ever met.  He was also dishonest, controlling and manipulative.  I think that about covers it.

I was green and eager to make a difference.

Read moreWhy you should have a role model

Never have grotty relationships again!

I was recently talking with Sally (not her real name), a friend of mine. She’s a lovely person, the kind that is always there for you. The trouble is, she’s always complaining that she doesn’t get much back so she tends to end up exhausted and resentful.

"After all I've done for them!"
“After all I’ve done for them!”

Sally is a people-pleaser, trying to be all things to all people but, as I’ve said to her again and again – it’s clearly not working for her. Bottom line, she’s not a happy woman. And she’s definitely not the only one.

Read moreNever have grotty relationships again!

Are you the invisible woman?

Sounds like the title of one of those old films, doesn’t it? But there’s nothing frivolous about the question.

When some of my older female clients start working with me, they often say the same thing, “Now that I’m retired, I seem to have become invisible!”. How does one become an invisible woman when, before they retired, they were out there, making a contribution, making a difference?

I have a lot to give!
I have a lot to give!

I have a friend, a very special woman. She’s vibrant, alive, USEFUL! She also has a close family and loving friendships. She’s 87 years of age. She told me recently, that there were some people

Read moreAre you the invisible woman?

What’s Wrong with Having Expectations? (Part 1)

Expectations are like a double-edged sword – some are absolutely appropriate, even helpful, some are out of date and some are positively harmful.

As clients begin working with me and begin to learn to know themselves better they start to notice their expectations – the ones that work well for them and the ones that don’t.

They not only come to see how they expect to be treated and feel unable to do anything

Read moreWhat’s Wrong with Having Expectations? (Part 1)

What’s Wrong With Having Expectations? (Part 2)

If you ever wondered why your life or parts of your life look and feel the way they do (not good) then it might be worth your while to look at your expectations. Generally speaking, our expectations are based on our beliefs and the main problem with this is that, using the iceberg analogy, 90{509b47edb39580d18b421650a9afc13f20dee849390ba171835b35368c323263} of our beliefs and expectations tend to be hidden from our awareness while we tend to regard the remaining 10{509b47edb39580d18b421650a9afc13f20dee849390ba171835b35368c323263}, the ones we are aware of, as valid and realistic.

What’s wrong with having expectations? The problem with expectations in general and the ones outside the field of our awareness in particular is that they are in the driving seat when it comes to creating our life experience, not us.

Read moreWhat’s Wrong With Having Expectations? (Part 2)

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