How this simple phrase stopped a fight before it started

Paul and I were having one of our stimulating conversations which I really enjoy when he, unexpectedly, asked me, “Do you regard yourself as a strong woman?”

Without the slightest hesitation I firmly replied, “Absolutely!”  He looked sceptical and commented, “Actually, I don’t think so.”

In years gone by I would immediately have felt defensive and challenged him, “What do you mean!  Are you suggesting I’m weak?!”

But I didn’t.  Instead I remembered another conversation with a woman friend many years ago.

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What stops you from being true to yourself

shutterstock_189619739A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?”

The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might

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What gets in the way of great relationships?

The key to great relationships starts with, as I know all too well, knowing, liking and trusting yourself.

shutterstock_220749814I know that’s easy to say but how do you know when you don’t?  The evidence is obvious, once you know where to look:

You beat yourself up, you keep your feelings to yourself, you have a hard time accepting compliments, you believe yourself to be helpless, you’re afraid to ‘rock the boat’, you insist you hate conflict, you allow other people to treat you carelessly, and much more.

Over time I’ve noticed something really interesting: the more I learn

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How ‘consequences’ transform your relationships

Most people are scared of dealing with frustrating relationships. You hate confrontations and dealing with conflict! You mostly react with annoyance and frustration. That’s understandable. However, awkward people can be be a blessing in disguise although you are unlikely to appreciate this at the time, because they have a useful role to play in our learning and growing.

At the first meeting I had with a new client, I asked him, “what do you do when there’s a confrontation looking? He replied, “I don’t do anything” so I then asked him, “And what do you do when it happens again?” He replied,

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Are you scared of conflict?

As a child it was explicitly drummed into me that I was dependent on other people’s goodwill for my emotional, even physical survival.  As a result, I learned to do whatever it took to get people to like me so it won’t come as a surprise when I tell you that I was absolutely terrified … Read more

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