I remember the first time this thought popped into my head: my stomach clenched with anxiety. I imagine this is a common reaction amongst us people pleasers or, as I prefer to call myself, recovering people pleaser. Just the idea of deliberately doing something that might displease somebody scared the hell out of me. In those days, the thought of rocking the boat felt threatening. But here’s the thing, many of us reach a point when the status quo is no longer an option because we finally know … [Read more...] about If you didn’t care what people said, what would you do differently?
Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other: Recommendation No. 1: Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance. … [Read more...] about Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…
Did you know that the quality of your environment – where you live, what you do, the friends you have, how you get on with your family, in short, your life and all your relationships – they all start in your head, with your thoughts. Your thoughts are a reflection of how you see yourself, whether you like and trust yourself or not, how you perceive other people and how you interpret everything that happens to you. I had a hugely significant experience a few years ago. I’d been struggling to … [Read more...] about If you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how
Despite the deeply personal nature of this blog I feel compelled to share my experience because I believe the message is important. I was married for 37 years and, just over 8 years ago, I took the painful step of leaving my marriage. I did it because I finally admitted to myself that I deserved better. Over the last 8 years I processed most of my baggage and I recently … [Read more...] about Love and loss happens but don’t be afraid to try again
Most people define courage as the absence of fear yet nothing could be further from the truth. When I was younger, my life was dominated by all kinds of fears which would hold me back in all areas of my life. Not long ago, I wrote a blog called ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway – really?’ I then went on to share the two biggest examples of ‘going for it’ in my life: leaving my marriage of 37 years and leaving my well paid job at the Institute of Directors. These decisions took a long time … [Read more...] about If you want to get rid of fear, here’s how
I’ve always been fascinated by people who are clearly self-confident. How do you know when you meet a genuinely confident person? What do you believe they’re like when no-one is looking? I’ve come across a number of beliefs – or perhaps I should say ‘myths’ – that people hold about those they believe to be confident which used to include me: They tend to take people at face value and they, therefore, also tend to believe that confident people have got it ‘all together’, that they don’t … [Read more...] about What is self-confidence?