The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

Last week, in Part 5, I talked about two things, both of which go hand in hand:

  1. Intentions
  2. Perseverance

But there is something else which is equally important.

Reprogramming your brain also involves keeping your emotional engine topped up.

This is something I mentioned many times in the past but always in the context of nourishing yourself and keeping your emotional engine topped up to enable you to continue to give with an open heart.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

Building on my introduction – or teaser – from last week, I’d like to start by describing the kind of journey you’re embarking on – but first, a word of warning:

You’ll need to stick at it, something which is not always easy.  But, if you do, the rewards are amazing.

This is not just about rebuilding your self-confidence but about developing the inner peace that comes with letting go of the trivial stuff that overwhelm us with anxiety and guilt. 

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 1)

This is the first of a series of blogs about a subject that is close to my heart:

How we sabotage our confidence and what we can do about it.

Here’s an example:

I’ve always preferred being in small groups, ideally just one or two other friends.  Larger groups make me feel uncomfortable.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 1)

What if your body were your best friend?

So here I am, still in my mid-fifties and experiencing episodes of severe lower back pain and a pain in my left knee both of which are making my life anything from uncomfortable to miserable.

My GP has little comfort to offer other than to learn to live with it and take painkillers when necessary.  Sadly, they have only limited success.

As I’m telling a friend about it she makes a suggestion which strikes me as absolutely bizarre.

“Ask your pain why it’s there”, she suggests. “What is it trying to tell you?  See if you can associate it with a particular emotion.”

As you would expect, I pooh-pooh the idea and put it out of my head.

Read moreWhat if your body were your best friend?

If you think feeling confident is something airy fairy, think again

It lately occurred to me that you might wonder why the subject of feeling confident matters so much to me that keeps me coming back to it again and again.

The only answer I can give you is what it was like for me when I didn’t feel it.

The experience of my relationship with Jim, my ex-husband, had drained me of the little self-confidence I had when we married – not that I realised it at the time.

Read moreIf you think feeling confident is something airy fairy, think again

Another failed diet? Check out your relationship!

Newsflash!

Focusing on your relationship will improve your health!

Putting on weight when you worked so hard at losing it in the first place is so frustrating!

And, when your energy levels and your self-confidence are low, the quality of your life as a whole is affected.

Read moreAnother failed diet? Check out your relationship!

If you didn’t care what people said, what would you do differently?

I remember the first time this thought popped into my head: my stomach clenched with anxiety. I imagine this is a common reaction amongst us people pleasers or, as I prefer to call myself, recovering people pleaser.

shutterstock_63866632Just the idea of deliberately doing something that might displease somebody scared the hell out of me. In those days, the thought of rocking the boat felt threatening.

But here’s the thing, many of us reach a point when the status quo is no longer an option because we finally know we

Read moreIf you didn’t care what people said, what would you do differently?

Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

shutterstock_220936639Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other:

Recommendation No. 1:

Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance.

Read moreChanging other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

If you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

Did you know that the quality of your environment – where you live, what you do, the friends you have, how you get on with your family, in short, your life and all your relationships – they all start in your head, with your thoughts.

hYour thoughts are a reflection of how you see yourself, whether you like and trust yourself or not, how you perceive other people and how you interpret everything that happens to you.

I had a hugely significant experience a few years ago. I’d been struggling to build my coaching practice and kept thinking, “I don’t know what else to do!; nothing I do works!”

Read moreIf you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

Love and loss happens but don’t be afraid to try again

Despite the deeply personal nature of this blog I feel compelled to share my experience because I believe the message is important.

I was married for 37 years and, just over 8 years ago, I took the painful step of leaving my marriage. I did it because I finally admitted to myself that I deserved better.

Over the last 8 years I processed most of my baggage and I recently

Read moreLove and loss happens but don’t be afraid to try again

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