Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other: Recommendation No. 1: Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance. … [Read more...] about Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…
I bet you – and probably everybody else on the planet from age of roughly 7 onwards – have baggage. For many of us, including me, that includes separation or divorce. Some of us will have gone through hell and high water, and the pain, the bitterness and the … [Read more...] about Did you know you can re-invent your past?
Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself? We have stories we tell ourselves about anything and everything – ourselves, other people and life in general. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. This one is – or could have been – mine: “After 37 years, I decided I deserved better and finally left my marriage. Of course, it was his fault. I had a list of complaints as long as my arm: everything he said or didn’t say; everything he did or didn’t do – … [Read more...] about How changing my story changed my life
I’ve recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Woman’s Hour, The Daily Mail and The Telegraph. It is impossible, in the brief time, to cover more than the absolute minimum. But it left me wishing we’d had more time and print space to examine the things that, in my opinion, are really important: how did I get from feeling as if I were invisible in my marriage to today, where, now well into my sixties, I’m continually attracting loving and supportive relationships, and working as the … [Read more...] about Questions I would have liked to have been asked
I’ve come across some clients who comment that they don’t really trust their own judgement because they have made so many poor choices in the past. These comments got me thinking about what it really means to trust. My first reaction is that these clients have got one thing right, namely that it’s about trusting (or not trusting) themselves. That’s certainly more than I can say about myself in the early days. I tended to hand over decisions about what was best for me to just about everybody … [Read more...] about What does it mean to trust?
I’ve always been fascinated by people who are clearly self-confident. How do you know when you meet a genuinely confident person? What do you believe they’re like when no-one is looking? I’ve come across a number of beliefs – or perhaps I should say ‘myths’ – that people hold about those they believe to be confident which used to include me: They tend to take people at face value and they, therefore, also tend to believe that confident people have got it ‘all together’, that they don’t … [Read more...] about What is self-confidence?