Never have grotty relationships again!

I was recently talking with Sally (not her real name), a friend of mine. She’s a lovely person, the kind that is always there for you. The trouble is, she’s always complaining that she doesn’t get much back so she tends to end up exhausted and resentful.

"After all I've done for them!"
“After all I’ve done for them!”

Sally is a people-pleaser, trying to be all things to all people but, as I’ve said to her again and again – it’s clearly not working for her. Bottom line, she’s not a happy woman. And she’s definitely not the only one.

Read moreNever have grotty relationships again!

Is this how you’re creating your life?

You should visit more often!
You should visit more often!

One of the things we often do as we grow older is looking back at our life and relationships and wonder, “what have I done to deserve this?! I’m a good person! What am I doing wrong?!” Sometimes you also think, “After all I’ve done for them!”

It’s frustrating, I know. So here’s a hint.

Take a look at your expectations. How do you identify your expectations? You recognise them when you

Read moreIs this how you’re creating your life?

Prove the world wrong! Here’s how

I keep hearing over and over again from many of my women clients who have been retired for a year or two (or sometimes longer) that the world seems to think that, once you’re retired, your brain turns off, your body shrivels up like a prune and you become invisible. My concern is that, when people keep expecting you to slow down, sooner or later you may give in to their expectations. Don’t do it! Fight back! Here’s how:

Words matter

There seems to be something about the

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Is there anything you have left unsaid?

About a month ago I received a call from the manager of the Spanish guesthouse where Jim, my ex-husband, lived the last few years to let me know that he’d died from a heart attack.

My first reaction was disbelief. He couldn’t be dead! He was only 79! The first few days I felt numb.

9 years ago, shortly before I turned 60, I’d left my marriage of 37 years. But, over the last few years we stayed in touch supporting each other in a variety of ways. That’s 46 years.

I wish I'd said...
I wish I’d said…

As I grieved I began to wonder if I’d left anything unsaid. Were there any loose ends? Did I have cause for regret?

For most of our marriage and for

Read moreIs there anything you have left unsaid?

How to bring joy into your life – now and in the future

“‎Today is a new day, one you’ve never seen before and will never see again. Seize the wonder and uniqueness of today! Throughout this beautiful day, you have an incredible amount of opportunities to move your life into the direction you want it to go.” paraphrased from a Steve Maraboli quote, best selling author and behavioural science academic

Boredom seems to be a condition that creeps up on us without us even noticing. And then, one

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How asking the right questions can transform your life

As the Greek philosopher Socrates said ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’

This quote sounds really profound but what does it mean? This quote brings up two questions of my own:

1. Why do we need to examine our life to make it worth living?
2. How do we start?

For me, the answer to the first question is that

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What does the law of gravity and our comfort zone have in common?

We’re often being encouraged to expand our comfort zone – to push beyond it, to take risks. In other words ‘to feel the fear and do it anyway’.

So, to answer the question ‘what does the law of gravity have in common with our comfort zone?’, both can sometimes feel impossible to transcend even though we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it can be done – after all, birds fly and so do airliners.

Why are we compelled to stay within our comfort zone?

As for our comfort zone, as Frances Coombes, NLP Master Practitioner, put it in the December 2001 edition of ‘Salesdirector’, “… the greatest instinct of human beings is not survival but

Read moreWhat does the law of gravity and our comfort zone have in common?

What story are you telling yourself?

Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself?

We tell ourselves stories about every aspect of our life. Here’s an example. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. Here’s one:

h“After 37 years, I decided I deserved better and left my marriage. I had no doubt that it was his fault we had reached this stage because I had a long list of complaints – everything he said or didn’t say and everything he did or didn’t do – that left me feeling resentful, frustrated, angry and hurt. People I thought were friends walked away and I was left feeling alone and misunderstood. I talked about my feelings all the time.

Read moreWhat story are you telling yourself?

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