Are you unhappy in your relationship? If so, here’s what you can do about it

So you finally allowed yourself to admit it – you’re not happy in your relationship.  You can’t put your finger on what exactly is wrong but you feel the distance.  You stopped talking to each other apart from the proverbial “please pass the salt”.  You don’t really care about each other anymore.

You really don’t want to live like that any longer but how to start?

I have some good news for you – and I have some bad.  Actually, the bad news has to come first.

First, you are the one who has to take the initiative but not the initiative you imagined I’d suggest.

It’s not about talking to your partner, at least not yet.

The starting point is to take a good look at yourself.

Reflect, what is the fear – yes, the fear?

Read moreAre you unhappy in your relationship? If so, here’s what you can do about it

Stop kissing frogs and let true love find you!

Recently I’ve been getting quite a lot of messages from women whose relationship have crashed and, not surprisingly, feel devastated.

Those were fairly long relationships and, even then, they were all sorts of reasons why they felt unhappy, mostly because their partner didn’t meet some of their basic needs.

The latest one was concerned with lack of commitment.  Jenny and her partner had been together for nearly 6 years when she said something about him not being committed to their relationship.

Then, to my surprise, she added that he hadn’t been committed to his previous partner of 17 years!

Read moreStop kissing frogs and let true love find you!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or is it…

I have noticed that there are 3 kinds of people:

  1. Those who are terrified of change and choose to stay in their comfort zone. They  fear the unknown more than anything else. Their motto is “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” and are afraid that, if they take the risk, they’ll go “from the frying pan into the fire.”
  1. Then there are those who are scared of taking that step but they take a deep breath and go for it.
    1. And then there are those who take the risk, embrace the change, take the chance.

Read moreHappy Valentine’s Day! Or is it…

Are you slowly shrivelling up inside your comfort zone? Here’s how to break out

I recently reconnected with a friend I hadn’t seen in about 8 years and, as we were catching up, I was struck by the change in her.

Aged 64 she looked absolutely fabulous.  There was an ease about her I hadn’t seen before, she was glowing and, best of all, she was in love.

Read moreAre you slowly shrivelling up inside your comfort zone? Here’s how to break out

Are you struggling with life’s challenges? Here are 7 ways to achieve inner peace

The last several weeks can easily be described as seriously turbulent – one challenge after another!

But I’ve recently noticed changes in the way I now respond to these challenges.

Not all that long ago, I would have felt really fed up – one damn thing after another!

In some cases I would have panicked, especially when nothing appeared to work to resolve the situation.

Read moreAre you struggling with life’s challenges? Here are 7 ways to achieve inner peace

How to be happier quicker

One of the advantages of reading a lot around relationships and happiness in general is that I often discover why I have a particular experience, in this case, why I feel happy most of the time and why I no longer go into catastrophizing or panicking mode, as I used to.

I just started reading this fantastic book, ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ by Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist specialising in changing our brain for the better.

It was a particular section that caused me to understand why my relationship with Paul is as good as it is.

Rick Hanson makes the point that our prehistoric ancestors were busy scanning for threats because their survival depended on it.

Read moreHow to be happier quicker

No! You have not made any bad choices!

Over the past few weeks I’ve been reviewing my past – my choices and insights, the things that shaped me into the woman I am today.

To be honest, it’s not an easy process.

I like to be positive, look at the progress I’ve made over the years – and I have made astounding progress but, more often than not, it was through sheer bloody-mindedness though I prefer to call it persistence.

But, if I’m to do a genuine review, then I have to be honest with myself – face the qualities that stopped me for far too long – although who knows how long is too long?  After all, I did end up landing where I’m happy to be.

Read moreNo! You have not made any bad choices!

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