Next time you’re facing a serious challenge, remember this

Thank you to those of you who sent me some wonderful replies to my last blog about what to do when you experience severe setbacks.

Apart from feeling comforted from reading your encouraging comments and words of support, I also noticed that the sharp edge of my hopelessness and helplessness had dissipated.

Feeling loved, heard and understood goes a long way no matter where the love, listening  and understanding comes from – our partner, our family, our friends, even strangers.

Here are other things that have helped that might help you too when faced with serious challenges and setbacks.

Read moreNext time you’re facing a serious challenge, remember this

What to do when faced with a major setback

OK, so it’s easier said than done.

I write a lot about resilience and about the importance of keeping on keeping on.

Unfortunately, it’s always easier to write about these things when everything is going well or even relatively well.

But I’ve just been struck by a major setback and I’m in a set of shock and fear.  Now what!?

This is how I’m dealing with it.

I find that the biggest thing that is helping me right now comes from Kirsten Neff’s book ‘Self Compassion’.

Read moreWhat to do when faced with a major setback

The No. 1 secret that will enable you to persist when others give up

I recently had a conversation with a friend, a fellow coach.  She had been trying really hard for quite some time to make a go of her coaching practice but, as she told me, “No matter how hard I try, I’m unable to make a go of it.”  So she decided to stop.  It had got to the point where it was affecting her health.

Then she asked me what kept me going.

I too was struggling so I tried to put into words why I couldn’t give up but had trouble finding the right words.

But the question kept nagging at me.  It made me wonder, what makes some people keep going no matter what and others give up?

Read moreThe No. 1 secret that will enable you to persist when others give up

If you’re suffering, this may be why – and here’s what you can do about it

I recently noticed that I have more days when my back is really hurting – not as bad as it used to but it’s noticeable.

When I mentioned this to Bernie, my Alexander Technique therapist, she told me that my scoliosis was going to get worse as I grow older.

I remember when I first started working with her about 18 months ago.

My back had become more bent and I was so angry at my body! I felt it had betrayed me!

But, last week, when she alerted me to what might happen in the future, I felt totally at peace.

Read moreIf you’re suffering, this may be why – and here’s what you can do about it

3 life wisdoms that transformed my life – and how they can change yours too

I recently started reflecting how I got to where I am today and the one thing I keep coming back to is – meeting Alan, my first life coach.

His wisdom has stayed with me over the years so I thought I’d share some of them with you.

    1. The story of the plant

It’s 1996, and Alan and I are sitting in the foyer of one of those large hotels in London.  It’s one of those posh hotels with a secluded space apart from the hustle and bustle of guests checking in and out.

Alan is sitting on one of those plush sofas; I choose the armchair.  Between us is a large coffee table with a large plant, one of those real ones, not the artificial sort.

Read more3 life wisdoms that transformed my life – and how they can change yours too

Use baby steps and achieve your dreams!

It is the end of the week and I was thinking about how little I had achieved.

Last Friday I completed my biggest project so far – developing a workshop for Surrey University – and sent it in.  Now I’m been feeling a bit aimless.  “What next?”, I wonder.

My ‘to-do’ list for this week was unusually short and so, the end of the week arrives and I’m thinking how little of any use I’ve actually done.

It then occurred to me to look back and this is what I noticed.

Earlier this month I’d written an article about sex in later years for Goldie magazine, a new magazine due to be launched in October.

Read moreUse baby steps and achieve your dreams!

Why I still regret not having had that conversation

I’ve discovered that one of the things that happens when I’m in the process of learning something new is that it also brings back memories.

This one is about the time when I was literally caught in a bitter conflict with my parents.

I was 32 years old and had been married 11 years. You’d think by then I’d be my own woman, confidently making my own choices and being clear about how I wanted to live my life.  But, as we all know, life is never that simple.

Read moreWhy I still regret not having had that conversation

Are you unhappy in your relationship? If so, here’s what you can do about it

So you finally allowed yourself to admit it – you’re not happy in your relationship.  You can’t put your finger on what exactly is wrong but you feel the distance.  You stopped talking to each other apart from the proverbial “please pass the salt”.  You don’t really care about each other anymore.

You really don’t want to live like that any longer but how to start?

I have some good news for you – and I have some bad.  Actually, the bad news has to come first.

First, you are the one who has to take the initiative but not the initiative you imagined I’d suggest.

It’s not about talking to your partner, at least not yet.

The starting point is to take a good look at yourself.

Reflect, what is the fear – yes, the fear?

Read moreAre you unhappy in your relationship? If so, here’s what you can do about it

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