There was a time when I believed that, if only I had no more problems, challenges, disappointments and setbacks, then I would be happy. Of course, that was never going to happen. Problems happen, setbacks happen, I make mistakes, life happens. That’s unavoidable and part of being human. It took me a long time to figure out that the only way to learn and grow, the only way to become wiser and more resilient is through problems, disappointments and setbacks. But there’s a lot more to it. It is … [Read more...] about Why mistakes can be a confidence-booster
Over the years I’ve noticed that, as I change, my definition of what success means to me changes too. When I was young it was a question of the image I presented. I spent time, effort and money to look professional, warm and approachable – expensive clothes, jackets with padded shoulders, warm colours and natural fabrics. Part of the image included spending money on things I couldn’t really afford, all in an effort to appear ‘successful’. … [Read more...] about Are you successful?
Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself? We have stories we tell ourselves about anything and everything – ourselves, other people and life in general. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. This one is – or could have been – mine: “After 37 years, I decided I deserved better and finally left my marriage. Of course, it was his fault. I had a list of complaints as long as my arm: everything he said or didn’t say; everything he did or didn’t do – … [Read more...] about How changing my story changed my life
A while back I posted a number of blogs introducing the concept of the Gremlin (your inner critic) and suggested ways to manage it. I’ve been familiar with my Gremlin for as long as I remember, even when I didn’t have name for it. I even commented how important it was to be aware of how it works because it affects the quality of our life like nothing else can. Probably the most important point I made was that, even when we learn to master it, we will always have to watch out because it will … [Read more...] about The Gremlin: the great debilitator
Ever since I decided to work with senior and professional people nearing retirement – who are dreading it, I started a process of my own around my own age – 67. Although nothing in me fits any of the criteria as dictated by social norms such as appearance (I’m blessed with great genes), health and wellbeing, and the way I think and act, I was still wondering “is this it?” Surveys into the perception … [Read more...] about A new model for ageing
I grew up believing that telling the truth is something we tell another person. But that’s only part of the story. In reality, the most important person we actually need to tell the truth to is - ourselves. We lie to ourselves all the time. In my younger days my self-deceptions revolved around my self image. Every time I opened my mouth and started a sentence with “I like to think I am (honest, truthful, reliable, loving or a good friend”), that was my way of trying to look good to myself. … [Read more...] about Am I Lying to Myself? – From Confusion to Clarity