How to become intimate: listen!

The first time I experienced being truly listened to, heard and understood was when I was doing my coaching training. We would be put in groups of three – the coach, the client and the observer, and then take it in turns so that everybody got experience with one of the roles.

hThat short experience was awesome – I had never experienced anything like it before.

Over the years I’ve noticed that few people actually listen to each other. It’s even worse when they’re in a fight. Then they both shout over each other. Nothing gets resolved and both parties end

Read moreHow to become intimate: listen!

If you want to rekindle a relationship, try this

Feeling invisible can be very debilitating. I can’t begin to imagine what it must be like to feel unseen, unheard, even unloved?

shutterstock_176813414This feeling of being invisible often seems to strike once women in particular retire.

I recently started working with Sonia (not her real name). Sonia is 71, her husband is 74 and they’ve been married 41 years.

When we

Read moreIf you want to rekindle a relationship, try this

What stops you from being true to yourself

shutterstock_189619739A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?”

The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might

Read moreWhat stops you from being true to yourself

The beauty of power and how to get more of it

shutterstock_220931875The idea that you can feel powerful doesn’t sit comfortably, especially if you are a woman.

It’s a word most people usually associated with men. So when I suggest to a client that she’s more powerful than she imagines, the reaction is ambivalent.

That changes when I go on to describe my definition of what it means to be powerful:

To have the ability to influence, to make things happen, to make a difference.

Read moreThe beauty of power and how to get more of it

Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

shutterstock_220936639Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other:

Recommendation No. 1:

Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance.

Read moreChanging other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

If you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

Did you know that the quality of your environment – where you live, what you do, the friends you have, how you get on with your family, in short, your life and all your relationships – they all start in your head, with your thoughts.

hYour thoughts are a reflection of how you see yourself, whether you like and trust yourself or not, how you perceive other people and how you interpret everything that happens to you.

I had a hugely significant experience a few years ago. I’d been struggling to build my coaching practice and kept thinking, “I don’t know what else to do!; nothing I do works!”

Read moreIf you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

How appreciation can transform lives

hBelieve it or not, we have the power to make a huge difference in how people feel about themselves.

In their wonderful book ‘How Full Is Your Bucket?’, Tom Rath and Don O. Clifton explain that, with each encounter, however brief, we can make people either feel good about themselves or we can leave them feeling ignored, invisible and discouraged, wondering why

Read moreHow appreciation can transform lives

There’s more to hugging than meets the eye

hI love hugging! I know not everybody does but you might like to know that, at least this time, you can enjoy something that is really good for you – not like my favourite pain au chocolat or chocolate ice cream – delicious but sinful.

Non-sexual touch has huge benefits:

Not only can

Read moreThere’s more to hugging than meets the eye

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