A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?” The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might … [Read more...] about What stops you from being true to yourself
Here’s something I finally figured out: Worrying is a habit. A lot of it falls under the heading of ‘what if’. “What if I get made redundant?”, “what if (s/he) has an accident?”, “what if I’m delayed and I miss my flight?”, “what if the hospital tests show I have some dreadful disease?”. Which … [Read more...] about Is worry useful or useless? Here’s how to tell the difference
Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other: Recommendation No. 1: Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance. … [Read more...] about Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…
One of the most important things you can do for other people is to do enjoyable things for yourself, things that uplift you and give you pleasure. It won’t surprise you to hear that I get a lot of resistance when I suggest this. “I don’t have the time”, “I have too much to do” and the worst excuse of the lot, “it would be selfish”. And yet, … [Read more...] about Why doing something pleasurable increases your energy levels
This is what I know: In order to keep learning and growing, we need to expand our comfort zone. Everybody knows that, right? But then I came across this article that suggests that stepping beyond our comfort zone can not only be hard work but it can also be very uncomfortable, at least until we master whatever we wanted to learn. That’s what it’s usually like to climb our learning curve, be it learning to drive, learning a new language or learning how to create better relationships. The more … [Read more...] about Don’t you wish it were easier?
Something happened to me recently that brought on a memory. It was November about 4 years ago – near Christmas but not near enough for me to slow down so I kept pushing myself. There was so much to do! Not just my work but my social life too. There were demands and expectations from people, and things I would normally handle easily, became a real challenge – like saying ‘No’. Not only that, but … [Read more...] about What happened when I failed to listen to myself