7 ways to thrive in a challenging world

So there we are – or, more accurately, there I am, again.

I thought life had stopping pissing on me but no.  As I said, there I am, again.

Except this time it feels different.

Last time I felt numb, in shock.  It took me a while to recover.

This time, not only am I not in shock, I’m feeling at peace.  I know that I will overcome this latest challenge – in the face of no evidence whatsoever.  Is this hope?

So why the difference?

Read more7 ways to thrive in a challenging world

Here’s what to do when life happens

I’m currently working on a new programme to develop mental fitness in university students and it occurred to me that we would all benefit from some of the tools and resources I will be offering them. There are several sub-headings that come under the general term of mental fitness some of which I’ve been talking … Read more

If you want to know the secret to staying younger longer, read on

When I was 14 years old, my Dad asked me what I wanted to do after I finished school.  I shrugged.  He said, “In that case, you will become a trilingual secretary because you’re good at languages.”  I replied, “OK, can I go out and play now?”

And that’s how I became a secretary.  I carried on as a secretary for the next 18 years.

I had many jobs along the way.  Most were OK.  What I liked best about them was the friends I made.

Fast forward 18 years and things were changing.  Not only were there social changes as well as changes in women’s expectations; there were also changes in my personal life.

My then husband, Jim, had been very unhappy in his job in Rank Xerox in Welwyn Garden City, and had applied for a very different position in their Gloucester site.

He never gave me a thought.

Read moreIf you want to know the secret to staying younger longer, read on

Do you trust yourself? No? Then here’s what you can do

I was on the bus and unintentionally listening to two women talking.  It sounded like a fairly intimate conversation.  Obviously, I did not turn around.

One was telling the other that she’d been offered what sounded like a great job but wasn’t sure whether or not to take it because she’d had made quite a few mistakes in the past and didn’t exactly trust her judgement.

The friend was trying to reassure her.

That got me thinking about self-trust, something that took me years to develop.

For many years my track record left a lot to be desired.

I mean, would you trust somebody who went after a man just to see if she can make him fall in love with her and then married him?

Read moreDo you trust yourself? No? Then here’s what you can do

If you don’t like your life as it is, why not create a different future? Here’s how

You don’t know what you don’t know, do you?  I had no idea that my life could be any different.  This is what it looked like the last 6 or 7 years of my marriage:

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

Read moreIf you don’t like your life as it is, why not create a different future? Here’s how

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

Last week, in Part 6, I talked the importance of being good to yourself and why, according to Rick Hanson in ‘The Buddha Brain’, this is such an important way to reprogram your brain.

In this last post of the series, I want to explore what it means to assert yourself which is another way of being good to yourself.

What does it look like when you’re asserting yourself and what role does it play in reprogramming your brain?

To truly assert yourself you need to come from a place of virtue which simply means from a place where your intention is to do no harm.

When you make ‘doing no harm’ your intention (see Part 5, intentions and perseverance), it becomes a way of relating not only to others whoever they may be – partner, children, family, friends or work colleagues but doing no harm to yourself either.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 7)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

Last week, in Part 5, I talked about two things, both of which go hand in hand:

  1. Intentions
  2. Perseverance

But there is something else which is equally important.

Reprogramming your brain also involves keeping your emotional engine topped up.

This is something I mentioned many times in the past but always in the context of nourishing yourself and keeping your emotional engine topped up to enable you to continue to give with an open heart.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 6)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 5)

Last week, in Part 4, I explained what stops you from moving forward and from making small changes even when you know you would be happier and more fulfilled if you did.

Resistance to change is a powerful obstacle but, whichever type of resistance I described last week you fall into, the suggestions I offered will maximise your chances of succeeding in your efforts.

Building on last week’s blog this week I would like to explore two things, both of which go hand in hand:

    1. Intentions
    2. Perseverance

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 5)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage (Part 3)

Last week, in Part 2, I suggested an exercise that encouraged you to deliberately look for positive facts and then turn those factual events into experiences – making it a point to savour and enjoy every aspect of each one of them.

Today I thought I’d share with you one of my own experiences but, before I do, let me tell you what the longer term consequences are.

The experience I’ll describe in a moment has huge benefits which go beyond the actual immediate enjoyment.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage (Part 3)

The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

Building on my introduction – or teaser – from last week, I’d like to start by describing the kind of journey you’re embarking on – but first, a word of warning:

You’ll need to stick at it, something which is not always easy.  But, if you do, the rewards are amazing.

This is not just about rebuilding your self-confidence but about developing the inner peace that comes with letting go of the trivial stuff that overwhelm us with anxiety and guilt. 

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 2)

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