I get upset when I read an obituary about some well-known personality who died of some lingering illness who, that obituary says, had accepted their situation and never complained. The tone is always one of admiration. Apparently, they keep their pain and suffering to themselves because they don’t want to burden the people they love. Sounds … [Read more...] about Would you like to know the secret to closer relationships?
I was recently talking with Sally (not her real name), a friend of mine. She’s a lovely person, the kind that is always there for you. The trouble is, she’s always complaining that she doesn’t get much back so she tends to end up exhausted and resentful. Sally is a people-pleaser, trying to be all things to all people but, as I’ve said to her again and again – it’s clearly not working for her. Bottom line, she’s not a happy woman. And she’s definitely not the only one. … [Read more...] about Never have grotty relationships again!
Ever since I decided to work with senior and professional people nearing retirement – who are dreading it, I started a process of my own around my own age – 67. Although nothing in me fits any of the criteria as dictated by social norms such as appearance (I’m blessed with great genes), health and wellbeing, and the way I think and act, I was still wondering “is this it?” Surveys into the perception … [Read more...] about A new model for ageing
Expectations are like a double-edged sword – some are absolutely appropriate, even helpful, some are out of date and some are positively harmful. Over time, as I began to learn to know myself better I started to notice my expectations – the ones that worked well for me and the ones that didn’t. The ones that worked well for me tended to focus on how I expected to be treated but I also used to have expectations … [Read more...] about The Downside of Expectations
“If you don’t expect anything, you can’t end up disappointed”, my friend said. Does this sound familiar? I used to say this a lot and, guess what?, I ended up with very little and that never stopped me from feeling disappointed. Over time, I began to have dreams. I began to see a clear purpose to my life and I began to want more. That’s when my life changed. The most important thing I discovered was that the quality of my life starts with me, being clear about what really matters to me and then … [Read more...] about If You Don’t Expect Anything, You Can’t Be Disappointed