The unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

Last week, in Part 3, I described in detail how I made emotional experiences from potentially fleeting positive facts and the significant health and emotional benefits that this approach brings.

As obvious as these ideas may sound, there’s a huge obstacle to overcome

Resistance to change!

I bet you’re expecting me to say that you have to wrestle with it, overcome it one way or another!

If that’s what you believe then you’d be wrong.  You can’t wrestle resistance with an act of will.  Besides, resistance is necessary for change to succeed!  Let me explain.

Read moreThe unexpected secret to self-sabotage – and how to stop it (Part 4)

What happens during an exploratory conversation?

One of the first questions people tend to ask when they call me to enquire about my offer for a free exploratory conversation is,

“What happens during that conversation?”

It’s so common that I thought I’d write a blog about what actually goes on in an exploratory or chemistry session.

Purpose

The idea behind such a conversation is to clarify where you’re now – what your current situation is, how you feel about it, what you might already have tried to make things better, what worked, what didn’t and why.

If you tried something and it worked why did you stop?  Perhaps it wasn’t enough or you did sort out that particular situation but a new one popped up.  This is your chance to find out.

Read moreWhat happens during an exploratory conversation?

5 Ways to rediscover your love for your partner

You may have been feeling dissatisfied in your relationship focusing on all the kinds of things that irritate you about your partner and everything that’s missing but has it occurred to you that you can change all that, that you can – if you’re willing – rediscover your love for your partner?

Believe it or not, that’s a choice, a decision you can make right here, right now.

Chances are that it’s not just you who’re feeling unappreciated, taken for granted, hurt and resentful, that your partner feels as you do with neither one of you having felt able to express your feelings in such a way that the other can hear.

Chances are that your habits of criticising, defending, blaming and going on the counter-attack have led you to this place where you’re both feeling unloved and perhaps even lonely in your relationship.

If you’ve had enough then this is your chance to change things by doing something different:

Read more5 Ways to rediscover your love for your partner

What has love and happiness got to do with your health and wellbeing?

I recently gave a talk about how I met my ex-husband, Jim.  As I began to develop the story it brought back an important memory which I would like to share with you.

The real story doesn’t actually start when I first met Jim.  It started with the kind of young woman I was – insecure, unsure of her attractiveness and lovability.

As a result, I made some very poor choices, the worst of which was the choice of life partner.

Having made my choice, I stayed in my marriage for 37 years, despite the bitter disappointment and emotional pain, and the only way I could do so was by pretending it wasn’t all that bad.

This is called ‘being in denial’ and I became so good at it that I actually came to believe my own deceptions.

But here’s the thing.

Read moreWhat has love and happiness got to do with your health and wellbeing?

Money troubles can be scary but there IS a way out

Even though I typically work with women over 50, I’ve noticed lately that I have begun to attract an increasing number of people in financial difficulties, an area I’m familiar with, both professionally and personally.

shutterstock_220562419Mostly, the problem has to do with fear about the future because often, redundancies affect older people so they worry not only about losing the job but whether or not they might find another suitable job – by suitable they mean, similar level and pay. Unfortunately, whether we

Read moreMoney troubles can be scary but there IS a way out

What stops you from being true to yourself

shutterstock_189619739A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?”

The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might

Read moreWhat stops you from being true to yourself

The Legacy of Yang-May Ooi – ‘Bound Feet Blues’

Today I’m privileged to share with you the wisdom and the gift of a dear friend of mine, writer and performer, Yang-May Ooi. Aged 52, she’s is taking to the West End stage for the first time her personal story. Yang-May is an award-winning TEDx speaker, bestselling author and acclaimed story performer. Take a look at her website www.StoryGuru.co.uk.

Here she speaks of her background, what brought her to this point in her life and why she’s compelled to share her story.

Read moreThe Legacy of Yang-May Ooi – ‘Bound Feet Blues’

If you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

Did you know that the quality of your environment – where you live, what you do, the friends you have, how you get on with your family, in short, your life and all your relationships – they all start in your head, with your thoughts.

hYour thoughts are a reflection of how you see yourself, whether you like and trust yourself or not, how you perceive other people and how you interpret everything that happens to you.

I had a hugely significant experience a few years ago. I’d been struggling to build my coaching practice and kept thinking, “I don’t know what else to do!; nothing I do works!”

Read moreIf you’d like to know how to change your environment, here’s how

Don’t you wish it were easier?

This is what I know:

In order to keep learning and growing, we need to expand our comfort zone. Everybody knows that, right?

But then I came across this article that suggests that stepping beyond our comfort zone can not only be hard work but it can also be very uncomfortable, at least until we master whatever we wanted to learn.

hThat’s what it’s usually like to climb our learning curve, be it learning to drive, learning a new language or learning how to create better relationships.

The more we want something, the more we’re likely to be determined to succeed. And that’s

Read moreDon’t you wish it were easier?

Grow Your Confidence and Fabulous Relationships will Follow

FREE