Dancing with the Mask

Learning to love and be loved

This book is my own story of how coaching helped me find a way to new possibilities of life and relationship, published in 2008.

It was not until my feelings of sadness, loneliness and resentment became so intense that I was practically on my knees that I finally surrendered to the possibility that there might be another way.

As soon as I became willing to look at myself I began to see how I kept deceiving myself, oppressing myself, struggling, resisting and blaming, and how this caused me to create a life experience that was loveless, meaningless and empty.

Stopping all those self-defeating and self-destructive habits and behaviours was the beginning of a journey that turned out to be an experience so unique and profound I feel compelled to share it as widely as possible.

The most important thing I learned about how to create a fulfilling life was this:

First change yourself and then everything else will follow.”

One of the most frequent comments of people who read this book is the extent to which they recognised themselves in my story. I wonder if you might recognise yourself too…

What People Say About Dancing with Mask

“Sue’s book really has made me stop and think so many times whilst reading it. Recognising personality traits within me and marvelling at how she has come through the dark, sad times in her life to be the person she is today. Her candid story telling of her life and the detailed analysis of it, will help so many people be able to reflect on their own situations. And learn from them.”
Jane S
“It is rare to read a book and feel you have been journeying more than turning the pages. “Dancing with the Mask” is such a journey. The author takes the reader through the darkest corners of her heart and connects the reader with her memories in a way where the distance between reader and author fades away to a point where the reader experiences the book as their own journey. An incredible read which makes us ask questions and find answers to our own journeys, however different they may be. The specifics become less important and one is left with this powerful sense of growth and self-discovery. I was left thinking of it as a long train journey: Sue provided the ticket to the train and the journey became mine. Poignant, straight from the heart and immensely powerful.”
Rhea Duttagupta
“I enjoyed the book very much. I think it is a brave and honest account of a life which could not have been easy; it is encouraging to readers to know that nothing is insurmountable. Buy it, read it, and see for yourself the changes you too can make.”
Andrea J
“An honest and frank account of Sue’s life and the incredible journey she took to the wonderful place she is today.”
Lynne F
“Whilst reading Sue’s experiences I could often relate to many of the behaviours she exhibited as a way of coping and hiding behind the mask.”
Marianna G
“Having met Sue in person, I can only say how genuinely warm and positive she is as an individual. Sue’s book is a truly inspiring read.”
Gina L
“I was moved and enthralled by the book. I felt empowered to look at certain aspects of my own behaviour and relationships. I cried and I laughed, and found myself thinking about what I had read for days afterwards.”
Dinah L
“There was so much of myself that I recognised. It was as if someone had switched the light on and sighed, ‘Finally you see what you have been doing and it’s now time to stop.’ ”
Yvonne B
“The book is absolutely fantastic although hard to read at times when I was witnessing the pain you went through. It is challenging because it is so open and honest.”
Dorcas M
“This book is extremely generous – open, honest and filled with treasures, signposts and delight. It touched my heart and inspired me. It shows what is possible and it shows how change can come about even in the most difficult situations.”
Jane L

Sue Plumtree

Sue Plumtree (1945 – Present) was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina to Viennese parents. She came to England in 1965 to learn English. Here she met Jim, the man she married.

After a 37 year marriage where she felt unloved, unimportant, emotionally neglected and empty, she finally left aged 60. But the pain wasn’t wasted.

When she looked back to try and figure out what was missing in her marriage that made her feel so unhappy, she discovered that she too played a role in creating her unhappiness, not only her own but that of Jim as well. It was an insight that transformed her life.

Over the next 10 years she rebuilt her life and discovered the joys of living on her own.

During that time she developed friendships she describes as caring, generous and open-hearted, and built her life coaching practice as the Over 50s Love Specialist.

She typically works with women over 50, helping them regain their self-confidence and sense of self-worth, and guides them through the task of building strong and loving relationships.

As featured in

Dancing with the Mask

Learning to love and be loved

This book is my own story of how coaching helped me find a way to new possibilities of life and relationship, published in 2008.

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