What Does It Mean to Take Responsibility?

It has been said that one definition of insanity is doing the same things again and again expecting different results – which is what most of us do. But why do we carry on doing what clearly doesn’t work?

The answer is simple: it’s because we don’t know what else to do.

For me, there would always come a point after yet one other event or interaction that “breaks the camel’s back” when I finally exclaim to myself “there has to be another way!” Over time I have discovered that, yes, there is.

Read moreWhat Does It Mean to Take Responsibility?

If You Don’t Expect Anything, You Can’t Be Disappointed

“If you don’t expect anything, you can’t end up disappointed”, my friend said. Does this sound familiar?
I used to say this a lot and, guess what?, I ended up with very little and that never stopped me from feeling disappointed.

Over time, I began to have dreams. I began to see a clear purpose to my life and I began to want more. That’s when my life changed. The most important thing I discovered was that the quality of my life starts with me, being clear about what really matters to me and then talking about it to friends, interested strangers, even those

Read moreIf You Don’t Expect Anything, You Can’t Be Disappointed

Can You Make a Difference? (Part 1)

When I first came across this question many years ago my reaction was “No, I can’t. How could I? It’s just me and nothing I do will make any difference.”

But that was then and this is now. Now I know better.

The first time I realised I can make a difference was when I was doing tele-selling. I was feeling resentful that financial circumstances forced me to do a job I despised. I told myself I was meant for better things!

Read moreCan You Make a Difference? (Part 1)

How to Change Your Life

I will always remember my coach telling me, when we first started working together, “When you change, your whole life will change”. At the time I had no idea what he meant but now, of course, I know this to be absolutely true. The question I found myself asking was “how am I supposed to know what needs to be changed?”

If you can honestly say that there is absolutely nothing in your life that upsets you, no relationships that make you feel frustrated or resentful, nothing in your life that you wish were different,then I’m truly delighted for you. However, the fact that you are reading this suggests that there is something that isn’t quite as you would like it to be.

Read moreHow to Change Your Life

How to Survive Redundancy

Being made redundant from the one job I loved above all others felt devastating.

I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming. Rumours about redundancies had been flying about for the last few months but I always believed that referred to other people, not me so, when it came, I was totally unprepared, especially emotionally.

I felt bereaved. I felt I no longer knew who I was. My identity disappeared along with the job. 

Read moreHow to Survive Redundancy

Feeling Unappreciated?

Most of us love the way we love, full stop. We rarely wonder if the way we express it is actually experienced as intended, that is, whether it actually works for our partner or not.

I believe it is important to think about it because this can cause much pain, confusion and resentment.

Like most people I learned to express love from my parents. It was their unshakeable belief that they knew what was best for me and that it was their duty to save me from making mistakes and suffering

Read moreFeeling Unappreciated?

Why do we feel lonely?

Many people tend to believe that being alone is the same as feeling lonely. It is not. Being alone can be a re-energising and fulfilling experience. Feeling lonely is intensely painful. We feel no-one cares about us, that no-one would notice if we’re dead or alive. The worst is the feeling that we have so much love to give and no-one to give it to. This kind of loneliness is, to my mind, equivalent to being in hell.

Many people who feel lonely often blame others for not calling or visiting them, if only occasionally.

Read moreWhy do we feel lonely?

Change Initiated by Me

Initiating change, I used to believe, would be positive and enjoyable but, in my experience, that was not always the case.

Here is an example of one particular life change I initiated (subconsciously) over a year before I took the actual step.

It was Sunday evening, and with Monday beckoning I had an unexpected and unwanted thought: “My work doesn’t fulfil me anymore.” I dismissed it instantly: “This is most inconvenient, go away!” I was 60 and planned to work until I was 65. I had a prestigious job at the Institute of Directors and I earned a very good salary.

Read moreChange Initiated by Me

Grow Your Confidence and Fabulous Relationships will Follow