As a child it was explicitly drummed into me that I needed other people’s goodwill for my emotional, even physical survival. As a result, I became a people-pleaser. I became a chameleon turning myself into whatever I believed other people wanted me to be. So it won’t surprise you when I tell you that I was absolutely terrified of conflict. Standing up for myself was … [Read more...] about Do you want to change other people? Here’s how…
I’ve got good news for you! You no longer need to feel frustrated and resentful because people don’t behave considerately, courteously or politely towards you. Even better, you can change their behaviour. You know how people are always saying, “You can’t change anybody unless they’re willing and able to change”? That’s true if the person doesn’t care about your relationship. Assume they do. You’ll soon find out one way or the other. Your part in the process is to … [Read more...] about Do you want to create rewarding relationships? Here’s how…
Here’s a quote by Henry Ford: “If you believe you can, you’re right; if you believe you can’t, you’re right”. That quote directly reflected my own experience. A few years back I was … [Read more...] about When YOU change, your life and your relationships change too!
So you figured out what you really want – A trip to Thailand – a course in watercolour painting – write a book – start your own business. How exciting is that! You're about to do what you've been wanting to do for such a long time! That’s when the Gremlin – your critical inner chatterbox - strikes terror into your heart: “A trip to Thailand?! Are you mad!? Do you know how risky it is, a woman on her own?!? Or “Watercolours!?! Give me a break! You can’t even draw stick people!” “Write a … [Read more...] about Do you want to make changes? Yes? No? Yes? No?
It was always important to me to make a difference in some way but, most of the time, I just didn’t know how. Then I met Helen. I'd gone to a workshop in London and Helen happened to be sitting next to me. I never felt particularly comfortable in large groups so I developed a strategy to cover me during the breaks. I'd amble to the window and looked out, pretending to be absorbed by the view. But this time was different. When the break was announced, Helen turned to me and asked “would you … [Read more...] about How the power of kindness can transform your life
Here’s a question: What story are you telling yourself about yourself? We have stories we tell ourselves about anything and everything – ourselves, other people and life in general. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘helpless’ story. This one is – or could have been – mine: “After 37 years, I decided I deserved better and finally left my marriage. Of course, it was his fault. I had a list of complaints as long as my arm: everything he said or didn’t say; everything he did or didn’t do – … [Read more...] about How changing my story changed my life