A few years ago you’d have had a hard time describing me as a ‘resilient’ person. When some challenge happened, I’d fret and worry and agonise and fuss – paralysed, unable to move forward or make decisions. Yet, somehow, I did muddle through but I ended up drained and exhausted. That memory came to me because, lately, life has been hitting me over the head, challenge after challenge after challenge but I noticed that, far from reacting as I used to, I was now dealing with them reasonably calmly … [Read more...] about The value of disappointments
Let me tell you, life as a people pleaser is a hard one. But you probably know that. The hardest part was when I was with a group of people. I believed everybody probably had a different expectation of how I should be but I just couldn’t figure it out. That was really stressful. I didn’t become a people pleaser by accident. As a child, it was explicitly drummed into me that I needed other people’s goodwill not only for my emotional but even for my physical survival. Not surprisingly, the … [Read more...] about How to change relationships
I recently remembered a particularly difficult period of my life that took place few years ago. I remember feeling totally overwhelmed with fear, a feeling I imagine you’re also familiar with. I particularly remember trying to control it because, having reached enlightenment (hahaha!) I knew that fear doesn’t exactly promote clear thinking. I remember I simply couldn’t think straight. The problem was that I had no idea how to genuinely let go of the fear apart from my usual strategies, like … [Read more...] about How to overcome fear
A long time ago I had a heated conversation with other women friends about the word ‘power’. They all hated that word. To them it meant ‘power over’ and ‘abuse of’. I was the only one who loved that word. To me, power means, the power to make a difference, to influence an outcome, to take control over your own life and make things happen. But, as those women justifiably felt, power can be a double-edged sword but not in the obvious sense. When you’re powerful you put your head above the … [Read more...] about Are you ready to embrace your power?
Many years ago I noticed that, as much as I love buying stuff, it only makes me temporarily happy. One minute I’m ecstatic about my new top, booking my holiday by the sea, the stunning piece of furniture I’ve coveted for months – and then, not long after I got it, the buzz is gone. And I noticed other things too, for example, everything is going really well for me but I’m feeling miserable. Or things that used to frustrate the hell out of me, no longer disturb this lovely feeling of peace and … [Read more...] about The 5 things that need to be in place for you to be truly happy
There’s this wonderful book, ‘How Full Is Your Bucket?’ by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, that argues that even the briefest interactions affect your relationship with yourself and everybody else. It affects your productivity, your health and wellbeing, and even how long you live! More than that, the quality of your interactions affect the way you feel about yourself and, from there, the choices you make. It’s, therefore, not a stretch to see that your very destiny depends on how full your … [Read more...] about Here’s how to create your destiny