I’m looking for happy couples for my next book!

Hello everybody!

It occurred to me that, when it comes to sharing with you what I learned that does and does not work in a relationship, I’ve turned to my own experience.

While this is a valid approach, I’ve decided to make my next book about you because, obviously, mine isn’t the only way.

I’m keen to to hear from those of you who have been happily married for at least 20 years and learn about (and share) your experience of how you built your relationship so that it stood the test of time.

More details below:

Read moreI’m looking for happy couples for my next book!

What has love and happiness got to do with your health and wellbeing?

I recently gave a talk about how I met my ex-husband, Jim.  As I began to develop the story it brought back an important memory which I would like to share with you.

The real story doesn’t actually start when I first met Jim.  It started with the kind of young woman I was – insecure, unsure of her attractiveness and lovability.

As a result, I made some very poor choices, the worst of which was the choice of life partner.

Having made my choice, I stayed in my marriage for 37 years, despite the bitter disappointment and emotional pain, and the only way I could do so was by pretending it wasn’t all that bad.

This is called ‘being in denial’ and I became so good at it that I actually came to believe my own deceptions.

But here’s the thing.

Read moreWhat has love and happiness got to do with your health and wellbeing?

Haven’t I been here before?

How long does it take to learn that lesson?

You may remember this question I asked you only a month ago:

“How long do you keep on doing the same thing over and over again before you realise it ain’t working!”

I sort of ‘woke up’ when I caught myself thinking, “Hang on a minute! Haven’t I been here before?”

I’m so wedded to achieving my big dream that I keep trying out all kinds of things. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? I’m always preaching about experimenting.

I’m also always adding the caveat – if it works, carry on doing it; if it doesn’t, try something else.

I just realised I wasn’t listening to myself.

Read moreHaven’t I been here before?

Stop kissing frogs and let true love find you!

Recently I’ve been getting quite a lot of messages from women whose relationship have crashed and, not surprisingly, feel devastated.

Those were fairly long relationships and, even then, they were all sorts of reasons why they felt unhappy, mostly because their partner didn’t meet some of their basic needs.

The latest one was concerned with lack of commitment.  Jenny and her partner had been together for nearly 6 years when she said something about him not being committed to their relationship.

Then, to my surprise, she added that he hadn’t been committed to his previous partner of 17 years!

Read moreStop kissing frogs and let true love find you!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or is it…

I have noticed that there are 3 kinds of people:

  1. Those who are terrified of change and choose to stay in their comfort zone. They  fear the unknown more than anything else. Their motto is “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t” and are afraid that, if they take the risk, they’ll go “from the frying pan into the fire.”
  1. Then there are those who are scared of taking that step but they take a deep breath and go for it.
    1. And then there are those who take the risk, embrace the change, take the chance.

Read moreHappy Valentine’s Day! Or is it…

Are you slowly shrivelling up inside your comfort zone? Here’s how to break out

I recently reconnected with a friend I hadn’t seen in about 8 years and, as we were catching up, I was struck by the change in her.

Aged 64 she looked absolutely fabulous.  There was an ease about her I hadn’t seen before, she was glowing and, best of all, she was in love.

Read moreAre you slowly shrivelling up inside your comfort zone? Here’s how to break out

Are you struggling with life’s challenges? Here are 7 ways to achieve inner peace

The last several weeks can easily be described as seriously turbulent – one challenge after another!

But I’ve recently noticed changes in the way I now respond to these challenges.

Not all that long ago, I would have felt really fed up – one damn thing after another!

In some cases I would have panicked, especially when nothing appeared to work to resolve the situation.

Read moreAre you struggling with life’s challenges? Here are 7 ways to achieve inner peace

How to be happier quicker

One of the advantages of reading a lot around relationships and happiness in general is that I often discover why I have a particular experience, in this case, why I feel happy most of the time and why I no longer go into catastrophizing or panicking mode, as I used to.

I just started reading this fantastic book, ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ by Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist specialising in changing our brain for the better.

It was a particular section that caused me to understand why my relationship with Paul is as good as it is.

Rick Hanson makes the point that our prehistoric ancestors were busy scanning for threats because their survival depended on it.

Read moreHow to be happier quicker

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