Focusing on your relationship will improve your health!
Putting on weight when you worked so hard at losing it in the first place is so frustrating!
And, when your energy levels and your self-confidence are low, the quality of your life as a whole is affected.
Why would you think of looking at your love relationship if you’re in the throes of yet another cold, if you have trouble keeping off the weight you lost during your last diet, if you’re feeling under the weather?
This is what research has consistently found:
The quality of our health is closely linked to the quality of our marriage or love relationship.
Does this apply to you?
Here are some symptoms you may recognise but remember, everybody’s different:
- You feel anxious and depressed.
- You put on weight as a result of turning to comfort foods – or you lose weight which can also be a symptom of anxiety and depression.
- Your confidence is at an all time low.
- You feel stuck and helpless.
- You feel irritable.
- Your libido is non-existent.
- Your sleeping pattern is erratic.
The good news is that there’s a lot you can do both about your health and about your relationship.
Top of the list is to go to your GP to seek help with your physical condition.
Next, google search ‘local mental health services’ which are free and you can refer yourself.
By the way, depression, anxiety, low confidence and self esteem issues, being sleep deprived and so on, are often lumped together under the heading of mental health issues so don’t be afraid of the term!
But this is only the first step.
After that, start working on relationship.
Begin by getting to know yourself. This is important because the better you know yourself, the better your choices.
Here are some of the areas you need to figure out:
- What are your deepest needs and wants? E.g. to be listened to, to be touched tenderly, to have your partner support you in practical or emotional terms.
- What is really important to you? E.g. to do more enjoyable things, to give and receive more love or to travel.
- What do you need to feel happy in your love relationship? E.g. to be told by your partner how much you mean to them, to be touched tenderly in a non-sexual way, to be made to feel attractive, to spend quality time with your partner.
- How do you NOT want to be treated? E.g. not to be taken for granted, not to be ignored, not to be interrupted, not to be criticised.
- How do you prefer to be treated instead? E.g. to be listened to without being interrupted, to be consulted when important decisions are to be made, to be made a priority in your partner’s life.
But remember, even assuming you still care for your partner, you need to be in a positive physical and emotional space to take the initiative to improve the quality of your relationship.
For more detailed help with this read my book ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 secrets of strong and loving relationships’ which is available on Amazon.
With love and gratitude,
P.S. I coach women over 50 who have not yet made the connection between the quality of their love life and the quality of their health.
P.P.S. My third book, ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 Secrets Of Strong And Loving Relationships’ is now on Amazon and getting 5* reviews!