If you don’t like your life as it is, why not create a different future? Here’s how

You don’t know what you don’t know, do you?  I had no idea that my life could be any different.  This is what it looked like the last 6 or 7 years of my marriage:

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

I get up, I have breakfast, I go to work, I do my job, I go back home, I have something to eat that Jim microwaved, we watch the telly, I go to bed.

Over and over again.  It is as it is from now to eternity.  Why would it not be?

In my thirties, when I was still living in Welwyn Garden City, working as a secretary, I began to feel something wasn’t right.  My friendships felt superficial but I didn’t know why I was feeling that way.  My work as a secretary was beginning to feel more like a burden but that was the only thing I knew for sure.

When Jim, my ex-husband was offered a new position in the Forest of Dean near Gloucester and I was forced to leave everything behind, I thought I could create a new life but, what I didn’t understand at the time was that I was taking myself with me.

That meant that I created similar relationships and circumstances until Somebody up there took pity on me and made it impossible to find a job as a secretary.

Soon after I signed up for unemployment benefits, an unexpected new opportunity turned up – a leaflet from the Jobcentre suggesting that, if I couldn’t find a job, why not consider re-training?

Since I couldn’t find a job, that option was a no-brainer, not one I would have chosen if circumstances had not pushed me towards it but, after I decided to go for it, I began to embrace my new life and the rest, as they say, is history.

Enter Alan, the man who became my life coach.

One day, after we’d been working together for some time, he said, “your life is going to change.  It’s going to be much more interesting.  Not comfortable but interesting.”

I could not have foreseen how right he turned out to be.

What made my future different from the one that only a couple of years before appeared to have been inevitable?

The answer is, I began to listen to myself.  If my present life didn’t feel right, would I need to change?

I started asking myself new questions, questions I had never asked myself before.  That was a choice.

At each moment of our life we are where we are because of the choices we made in the past.

But here’s the thing.

The future does not yet exist.  It only becomes a reality as a result of the choices we make, the thoughts we think, the actions we take, the seeds we plant, especially when the choices we make are about what kind of person we want to be.

In the days when my life was more like a revolving door – if you can call it a life – I used to be a committed people-pleaser, hiding behind all sorts of masks designed to make me fit in, be acceptable, accepted.

It was only when, with Alan’s help, I began to drop my masks layer upon layer that I changed the kind of person I was into one that was more authentic, more willing to take risks and dip my toe outside my comfort zone.

I began to change the kind of person I was when I stopped pretending I got all sussed out, when I started to figure out what was really important to me, what I really needed to be happy.

I began to change the kind of person I was when I started to access qualities I didn’t even know I possessed, qualities like resilience, courage, persistence, kindness and compassion – both towards myself and towards others.

As a result, my work, my friendships and the situations that began to appear changed beyond recognition.

What I discovered was that, when I changed something fundamental within myself, I changed the direction of my life.

That means that, irrespective of our experiences in the past, the future is ours to create.  If we don’t like the script for the life we don’t really like, we can write a different one but the one thing that is certain is that we are the ones who can write – or re-write our life script – nobody else can do it for us.

So here’s a question for you.

Do you like your life – your work, your friendships, your love life?

If not, then why not re-write your script?

If you’re not sure how or, if you could use a helping hand, why not contact me on sue@sueplumtree.com or text me on my mobile – 07903 795027 for a free, no obligation Obstacle Smashing Exploratory Session.

You will walk away with at least 3 options to get you started on a happier path – whether or not you choose to work with me.

With love and gratitude

 

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