After you’ve been together for some times it’s easy to fall into bad habits that can kill your love for each other.
Here are 5 behaviours that are both individually and collectively very powerful in enabling you to rekindle your love – but you will have to take the first step.
That’s because you only have control over your own behaviour. When you start changing your behaviour, it’s almost 100% guaranteed that you partner will respond in kind.
Here are the 5 behaviours.
- Show your partner acceptance and compassion
Accepting your partner and being non-judgemental are absolutely fundamental.
To me, making your partner feel inadequate is the number one crime we can commit against another person, never mind the person we say we love.
Accepting our differences in a non-judgemental, compassionate and accepting way is one of the most wonderful gifts we can give.
2. Show your partner you appreciate them
Appreciation is absolutely critical to us feeling loved and accepted. If our relationship feels unfulfilling, then what’s missing can often be traced to simple lack of appreciation.
Take the time to focus on what they do or particular aspects of how they are, which you like or even love.
Appreciating somebody includes complimenting them, expressing affection, for example with a hug, an affectionate touch or a smile.
3. Show your partner that you acknowledge them
Acknowledging somebody is different from appreciating them. When you acknowledge your partner, you show that you value them, that they matter to you.
4. Make yourself emotionally vulnerable
This is at the heart of intimacy.
There’s only one way to create a place where both of you feel safe together and, as scary as it feels, that way is to make yourself emotionally vulnerable. This requires you to expose your most inner secrets, hopes, fears, doubts, pain, sadness, hurts – even your flaws, real or imagined.
Please remember that making yourself emotionally vulnerable is a gradual process.
5. Develop a new habit
Develop the habit of regularly discussing with your partner what you like or love about them and what’s good about your relationship.
Here too you need to take the initiative.
Chances are, when you decide to change something in your relationship you will feel hesitant, vulnerable and perhaps even a little bit scared.
Above all, do remember to take one baby step at the time, be patient with yourself and your partner and persist!
With love and gratitude
P.S. My third book, ‘Open Your Heart: The 7 Secrets Of Strong And Loving Relationships’ will be launched on Thursday, 21 September 2017
P.P.S. I enable women build strong and loving relationships, first with themselves and then with others. That’s because your relationship with yourself shapes all your other relationships.
If you’d like to find out how you can do that email me on firstname.lastname@example.org for a FREE one hour exploratory conversation.