I was talking to a good friend of mine, a woman who quite often has occasion to see Paul, my partner, and me together.
One of the things Paul loves to do and has done for many years is ballroom dancing which takes place once a month on a Saturday. The point is that we’re only together weekends so another woman might object at him going off to do his own thing.
My friend wondered, “don’t you mind?” I replied, “not only do I NOT mind, I actively encourage him to go because I know how much he enjoys it. Besides, when he comes back he feels great and likes to tell me all about it.”
With ballroom dancing, everybody dances with everybody else. This coming Saturday, I decided I wanted to go and watch his moves. We also decided to invite our friend to join us. It’ll be fun.
I myself tend to think of myself as having two left feet so it’s unlikely I’ll join in but you never know.
My friend wondered, “don’t you mind watching him dance with other women?” “Or when he talks to other women? Doesn’t it worry you that he might become romantically involved with one of them?”
“Absolutely not!”, I replied without a moment’s thought.
And then she asked me this really important question.
“How do you know it won’t happen?”, she persisted.
That’s a really good question. Here’s how I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that that won’t happen.
By coincidence, Paul and I recently talked about how we feel when we’re together. This is what we found.
When I’m with Paul I feel wanted, beautiful, sexy. I feel appreciated, valued and accepted. I feel safe to make myself emotionally vulnerable to him.
As for Paul, he commented that he feels special, appreciated, wanted, accepted and not judged. And he feels safe to tell me very personal things.
Why would either of us look at anyone else?
What do you think? I would love to hear your views!