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Hi, I am Sue.  My passion is relationships – understanding what makes them joyful, what makes them painful, what creates intimacy, what creates distance and, especially, how to create the love you long for.

I typically work with women who have forgotten what it feels like to be loved, women who want to rekindle the romance in their relationship, and feel special, cherished and desired.

I am based in Richmond and I started my journey when I turned 56. That’s when I met my life coach and my life was never the same again. He stood by me every step of the way, holding my vision of the kind of life I wanted to live and the kind of person I wanted to be and the kind of relationship I wanted to have.

I have lived a life rich in joy and pain, disappointments and triumphs, failures and victories.  I have suffered as I’m sure you too have suffered.

In the 12 years since I left my marriage aged 60, I went on to create a life filled with love, happiness and meaning.  Best of all, only months after I turned 70, I met the most wonderful man who turned out to be my soulmate.

I soon discovered that meeting somebody wonderful is the easy part.  Maintaining that relationship is the challenge.  Even better, I know how I’m doing that.

That’s what makes me uniquely qualified to empower you to transform and create relationships where you finally feel loved, valued and appreciated.

What was it like working with a life coach?

There are those who need a helping hand for a time, as I did. I know that I wouldn’t have been able to create this life without the unstinting support and encouragement of my own life coach. I had never before experienced a relationship like the one I had with him.

For the first time I felt truly heard and understood. I was able to tell him about my frustrations, resentments and fears. I would continually blame others, especially my ex-husband, for my unhappiness and dissatisfaction, yet he never wavered. He challenged me, held up the metaphorical mirror so that, for the first time, I started to see the role I played in the creation of the life I insisted I did not want.

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What does more mean to you?

Introduction

As you move into your fifties, you might start to wonder what comes next – you might be experiencing new feelings, new desires even new anxieties, especially if you can’t imagine what lies ahead.

In other words, you might want more than you’ve had so far but you don’t know what that ‘more’ might look or feel like. All you know is that you would like to feel happier, experience more joy, do something that gives your life more meaning, to know that your life has a point – if you only knew what that might be.

I had a client. She was 68. When we first talked, I asked her what makes her happy or fulfilled – without even stopping for breath, she said “I don’t know”. And she said it again when I asked her what really mattered to her, again without stopping to think about it.

Over time, I asked her questions that she had never considered before, questions that were intended to encourage her to start looking at things in a different way.  Some of these questions enabled her to discover that there was more than one way to interpret all kinds of different experiences.

Gradually, she began to notice new options, new opportunities, new possibilities.

We then moved to the next phase: how to create a life that is rich in love, meaning and joy.

The 5 stages to do that are:

Stage 1
Re-evaluate your values and beliefs. You will identify the beliefs that hold you back and replace them with beliefs that support your desires.

Stage 2
Get to know, like and trust yourself. This is because people take you at your own valuation. If you don’t particularly like yourself, if you’re self-critical, if you take yourself for granted or beat yourself up – then this is how you, unintentionally, educate people on how to treat you.

Stage 3
You’re now ready to set personal boundaries. More importantly, you become able to affirm them. It’s how you change other people’s behaviours towards you. This means that you will be able to re-create your relationships, make them kinder, more thoughtful.

Stage 4
The choices you make determine the quality of your life and your relationships. This is how you create your life: choice-by choice-by choice. The main difference is that your choices will now be deliberate rather than habitual.

Stage 5
The fundamental changes you have implemented are based on how you perceive and interpret everything that happens. You will discover that nothing has meaning except the meaning you decide something has.  And you will discover possibilities you never even knew existed.

These stages combine to create more love, more meaning and more fulfilment. How? Because, when you change, everything changes – not just your relationships but your whole environment changes too.

Sue-Plumtree-Coaching

My Coaching System

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